A grieving parent’s disability

Most people don’t look at someone with an amputated leg and expect them to become what they once were..It’s obvious when you look at them they are missing a piece of themselves..They must learn to balance..to walk…and possibly run again..but never will we look at them and expect them to have their leg back..yet many look at a grieving parent hoping and waiting for the day they are better..the day the pain eases and they have “their leg” back..Reality is..they have lost a piece of them just as if they have lost a body part..our handicap may not be visible but it is REAL..I must learn how to balance..walk..and eventually run again..but NEVER will I be whole again..I will never accept the fact that she had to leave but I have accepted the reality that she isn’t coming back..The pain of not having her will NEVER leave however I am praying for the grace to benefit from it and the willingness to let God use it to glorify him..No doubt God has been faithful to me just as he always is..I learned in an Experiencing God class years ago that God is always at work around you, you don’t have to run to a different city or another country to do his work..He has overwhelmed me with opportunities to disciple others right here as I continue to focus on him through my own handicap..but I am beyond humbled at the latest opportunity God has given me to help others..I was contacted by Kathe Hawkins a few months after Sydney’s accident and she talked about a need she saw in our community for a safe place for kids to go who have suffered loss and help them process their grief and allow them to remember their loved ones…it is not something that is easy to start, but with God all things are possible, and over a year later and her speaking and partnering with the right people her idea has a name, a building, and an amazing team that I get to be a part of..We are beginning to offer training classes for volunteers who may want to join and scheduling intake meetings for those who are in need of the services offered..I’m super excited to see the healing this facility will provide for our community and honored to know that Sydney was part of Kathe’s initial inspiration. I may not be whole, I may be unbalanced, and I may still stumble as I survive my handicap, but It continues to encourage me to know that even as broken as I am God still invites me to join him where he is at work. Please feel free to contact me if you would like any additional information