Monthly Archives: May 2014

Memorial Day…I’m not BBQing

. Grief its Real . , , , , ,

Today’s Memorial Day..I haven’t spent this weekend celebrating, drinking, or BBQing..for the first time I realize this weekend isn’t about a three day weekend..its about remembering those we’ve lost..honestly I remember every single day..my heart will never be the same..my life will never be the same..While so many I know are looking forward to graduation..Im forced to look forward to her headstone arriving..She had the most beautiful smile, a beautiful heart, was graduating a year early and still within the top 4% of her class..ppl often tell me she in a better place..yes she is..but she wasn’t in a bad place here..The most obvious thing about Sydney was that she brought out the BEST in others..she made doing the right things fun and exciting..she believed in you even when you didn’t deserve it..I’m forever missing her, forever loving her, and forever remembering her..because I simply can’t accept not having her a part of my life everyday @sydneylisa

Mother’s Day..Play for Jeter..Cameron playing for Sydney

. Grief its Real, Play for Jeter . , , , , , , , , ,

Today is Mothers Day and I’m missing Sydney. She was the one that made me a mom..my first born. The day you become a mom your whole life changes. You look into your babies eyes and you know your soul and heart are linked. A mothers desire is for nothing more than to help their child succeed and become the best they can be..I would have given up anything for my child. I didn’t carry around 400 dollar purses, I didn’t wear expensive clothes, didn’t have the most expensive cars, but I lived life and made all kind of memories with my kids..Just like your life changes the day your baby is born..your life will also change the minute you hear your child is gone. All your future dreams are shattered. Every single perfect memory is always missing something..its missing my baby girl..and I can never be okay with that EVER..God blessed me with two amazing children..two..and I was so proud of Cameron yesterday. He played his last soccer tournament of the season. I won’t steal his words you can read them for yourself as I’m attaching his Instagram post..I just couldn’t be more proud of him and I’m so thankful for the heart he has..our family has changed, his momma cries all the time, his Dad cries, he has also learned how awful a few people can be, they have hurt him also..but he continues to try and be the best he can be..and I realize how lucky I am to have such a sweet caring boy..His post brought tears to my eyes! We miss you Sydney Lisa Jeter😇Always and forever! We will forever carry you with us! #PlayforJeter
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My first Mother’s Day without one of my kids

. Grief its Real . , , , , , ,

My first Mother’s Day without her..Today has been a constant reminder that Sydney isn’t here..I’ve cried most of the day..my heart and soul are bleeding and I don’t know how to stop it..so many people checked on me today, prayed for me and sent me text messages wishing me a happy Mother’s Day and I am more than blessed by everyone of them..one of Sydney’s friends came and got me and prayed with me at churchthe encouragement was not lost just because I’m still crying. Its what enabled me to take each breath when it hurts so badly to breath..I layed in Sydney’s room and cried myself to sleep then woke up and continued to cry..I miss her..My daughter wasn’t here to post a picture with me telling me how much she loved me..I didn’t get to post a picture, I didn’t get to hear her say Happy Mothers Day or Mommie I love you. A Day moms cherish so much has become the biggest realization that one of my babies is gone forever..but then I’ve got this precious boy that I’m so thankful for..his heart is like something I’ve never seen..he’s matured so much since that night..the bottom picture is the text that he sent me as he was getting into bed tonight..he included his sister in his message to me..that’s two days he’s shown how much he loves his sister and his mom and Dad..Thank you for all the prayers..I will always see more than clouds and a blue sky when I look up

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On top of my daughter’s death..we find her memories are being sold

. Getting to Know Sydney, Grief its Real . , , , , , , , , , ,

A year ago today Sydney was so excited to give this very expensive pair of polarized sunglasses to Blake. They meant so much to him that on 2/26/14 at 9:12am only 7 months after she was killed he placed them and sold them on craigslist for 45 dollars..How heartbreaking to know her memories could be sold..I contacted the buyer to verify and try to recover them but he lost them in the lake just a week before..God leaves us an entire bible with lots of scripture..he says to forgive and offer grace..we did..he says to always speak truth..and we have..he says you will be persecuted for following me..Sydney and my family have been..but he also says Matthew 7:6 NIV “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces” God my prayer is that truth be revealed. I pray that you will please protect my daughters memory and her family and friends from the pigs you speak of who have turned around and attacked not only us but Sydney’s memory..God please let your Holy Spirit work good out of the evil that has been done and I ask others to continue to pray for our family as we walk through this raging storm that continues
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