I wanted to take a moment and just thank everyone who has walked with us..supporting us through comments, text, calls, invites, posting on Sydney Lisa Jeter Facebook wall, prayers, and the willingness to be there in whatever way you can be. I know it can’t be easy watching a family struggle and suffer they way we have..I try to be as honest as I can when communicating with others..because if we aren’t honest how can you possibly know that we need help. Those who haven’t been scared away by where we are in this journey..I can’t thank you enough. You provide light in our darkness..We are forever going to miss her..oh my gosh she was such a beautiful spirit..she’s impossible not to miss and ache for..nothing is going to change that and if I don’t keep myself in reality its only going to be harder for us later. This emptiness will never go away..no matter how close I feel to her..the hopes and dreams we had for the future will forever be felt. So accepting that is the first step in being there for us..ignoring the fact that she’s gone doesn’t make us feel it any less..instead remind me that she was here..that her life meant something..that she was loved..if she inspired you..there is no memory that is insignificant..they all touch our hearts and give us strength to continue. I’ve had such wonderful moments of happiness..they are short lived at this point but they are there because of the people who have chosen to walk beside a broken family with compassion and love. I am blessed for the moments and pictures I have smiling or laughing as I know they are true blessings from God! I will continue doing everything to glorify God and honor my precious girl..I will carry her with me forever!
As the days pass the pain doesn’t go away..actually the pain increases..its so hard to try and continue when all you want to do is go back..go back to when we could hold her..laugh with her..talk with her..Stacy says she was the first thing he ever really prayed for and received. He wanted a girl first and God blessed us beyond what we could have ever dreamed..its so hard knowing we had so much to look forward to and it ended in the blink of an eye..How do you continue when your heart is broken beyond repair..no matter what we do we miss her..time gives no answer..as time goes on..the pain..becomes something we expect..or accept..in my opinion it doesn’t get better..you just become a custom to it..as it becomes a part of your life..we continue to struggle finding energy to overcome. We pray constantly for strength and the patience needed to make it through this long journey. We want nothing more then to glorify God and honor her. The best way to do that is stay focused on God through our pain and continue walking where he leads us. We continue to ask for prayers as we are experiencing the year mark to some of our very last memories with her.
One year ago today was my very last concert with Sydney. It was just the 2 of us and she was crazy excited it was going to be our second time seeing Ke$ha..Sydney and I had a special bond through music..it didn’t matter if it was Country, pop, Christian, or rock..we were ready to go..I miss having her with me as she brought me so much joy and happiness..You will forever live through our memories..Forever and always baby girl..this is one of the song she posted lyrics to a year ago on the way to the concert.
Stacy and I have been thinking about what to do knowing that it will be one year July10th..We want to honor Sydney Lisa Jeter but also help ourselves walk through this day without completely losing it..Being alone is not the answer..being with family…well they are hurting too so we sit and cry together..We find healing when we do the things she did with people that loved her..so we decided to do what Sydney would be doing on that day..but we need your help..we are opening our house up that day for anyone and everyone that wants to stop by swim, share memories, distract us, and visit..stay all day, stay a few hours, or stay 5 minutes..what ever is best for you..we are inviting anyone that knew Sydney or knew of Sydney..if her smile ever touched your life (even if only through a picture) you are welcome..Don’t come alone..Sydney did nothing alone..bring a friend maybe two even more just whatever works for you..our house will be open and ready..Sydney’s writings have been organized and placed in a book for all to see. Please come help us remember and see the legacy Sydney left in this world.
We realize how blessed we are to have Cameron come in and say Happy Fathers Day. Today as everyone post pictures with their Dad celebrating..we are very aware that we are missing a piece of us..Sydney wouldn’t have hesitated to post a picture with her Dad telling him how much she appreciated and loved him..She isn’t here but I’m positive she would have wanted me to do it for her..I saw the way she loved her Daddy and I know she is so very proud of him as he walks through this..Anyone that knows Stacy knows the restraint he has shown he is not capable of on his own..do you realize how hard it is for a Dad to walk through everything we have walked through..His strength comes from God and his desire to make Sydney Lisa Jeter proud..She is forever with you Stacy Jeter and I know she is so very proud of you! Happy Fathers Day!
Well here we are as the 10th rolls around again this time marking 11 month without her. It still feels like yesterday I was sitting on the street screaming NO however as much as my life has remained stuck in that moment others have moved on with life. Some here for us the first several months as the shock of losing someone they loved filled their heart with the desire to be close to her family as they needed closure. Some shockingly attacked a grieving family and Sydney’s memory with lies, and hatred. We tried desperately to look the other way, ignore, contact parents who refuse to either sit down with us or do what is necessary to actually parent a child and teach them appropriate behavior. I will never understand why on top of losing my daughter I’ve had to deal with such dishonor and disrespect by people who claimed to love her but obviously by their actions do not. When crying out to a friend I asked why God would allow the extra suffering when I was already barely breathing and she said I can not explain why your suffering continues or why evil people continue to plague you. I think the devil works overtime to try to turn you away. She said this tells me that something you are doing is hurting him and furthering the kingdom of God. I hope and pray that is true..that at least if I have to feel all this horrible pain and live knowing that people could disrespect someone as beautiful of a person as Sydney inside and out…that God’s kingdom would grow. It doesn’t make it easier to feel or go through, but my hearts desire is to Glorify God in all that I do..Now to the last group of people…the ones that realized that our family didn’t just need people in the first weeks and months..as Sydney isn’t just gone for that amount of time…she’s gone forever and helping us is a lifelong walk..It’s knowing we have a piece missing for the rest of our lives and offering to step in and fill the emptiness..its knowing Cameron misses having older kids around and continuing to show up and tell him how amazing his sister was or how much she loved and talked about him…It’s showing up and hanging out at the house to help fill the emptiness with laughter and craziness that left with her…we want to do things she loved with people that knew and loved her..Its knowing that by the time a grieving person reaches out for help they have sat in the depths of their darkness way too long. Please say her name, share your stories with us..let us know that the time we selflessly shared her with other people was worth it..don’t keep your memories hidden in your head or your heart…its a blessing when you share them with us and helps us make it until we see her again. 11 months is way too long without her and the more time moves the more these little things become big things. Thank you and God Bless everyone walking this journey with us.