Bluebonnets and Sydney ❤
Stacy Cameron and I started spring break a little early this year..Some of our best friends have spring break the week before ours so we left out on Friday and they held over on Monday so that the boys would be able to enjoy some of spring break together. So we headed off to do Spring Break at Garner on The Frio River. If you asked Sydney her favorite place I’m pretty positive she would say The Frio and we were so blessed to get to share some of the things Sydney loved so much with our best friends. I can’t say it took away the pain because that’s impossible but Cameron got to tell stories of his last spring break with Sydney and reminisce about climbing old baldy with her and taking pictures in the same spot he took them with her. It filled my heart to hear him talk about that last trip with his friends and how much he cherishes those memories. As the week went on we continued to create memories and adventure for Sydney..I climbed and hiked (which I don’t do) Cameron and his friends got all dressed up and went to the dance (Cameron did not dance but just going would have made his sister super proud) they even gave out some of Sydney’s cards to some of the girls at the dance and me and my non dancing husband danced at the Garner Dance for my sweet Sydney❤️My heart so heavy as all we really wanted was to be watching her instead of dancing for her. It was a trip filled with old and new and for me teenage boys instead of teenage girls. I laughter I smiled..I hurt..I cried..I wished..I prayed..and I fought hard to be and do everything she would want me to do and enjoy as much as I could even though with every beat of my heart there was an ache and emptiness that rushes over every part of you but she never failed to let us know she was there loving us and encourage us ..we saw bluebonnets on the drive lady bugs and rolly pollies at the shelter indentions in rocks shaped liked hearts sun rays in our pictures and some heart shaped clouds when we hit the top of old baldy❤️
There seems to be a lot of talk about our belief but is there actually proof in our lives that we do actually believe. Our own thoughts about our self or the burdens life has poured upon us, keep us beat down and hesitant to go where God is asking us to go. It never fails that on my weakest days God gives me something too hard for me..Most days I immediately think (and even ask him) why me God there is a whole world filled with people…so why me.. I’m weak I’m broken I’m hurting, and ultimately unfixable..how am I suppose to help someone else when I feel like I’m the one needing help. It is then that my belief comes into play..the bible is filled with verses stating with God all things are possible. Do I believe it? Do I believe that I’m included in the “all” because if I do then it doesn’t matter what I feel it only matters what I do once my belief is there then I step forward in faith. It’s the ability to step out in faith that actually proves what we believe. Most of the time this just happen..You don’t actually make the decision to believe and then step.. you simply allow yourself to spin in the potters hands and it isn’t until he’s done that you realize the beauty he created through your life. You see Sydney didn’t believe she had led a life capable of leaving a legacy for God. I know this because she wrote out a prayer that is included in her book (I’ve attached it). This prayer was written sometime after May 23, 2013 because it’s a prayer from a book that she had me purchase that day. I’m pointing this out to show others how absolutely faithful and big God is..It’s interesting how you notice things as you study them..what I notice in this prayer is two things..one she didn’t believe she had lived a life to glorify God but then she says..I will stand on your promise that you will make something beautiful out of my brokenness and she asked him to help her live out the rest of her days to bring glory to him..The rest of her days..which she couldn’t have possibly know would only be 48..just 48 short days..but in those 48 short days..God used her life and made something beautiful out of her brokenness., and because she stood on the promises of God and because she trusted him..He used her to prove his faithfulness. I want to point out one more time what she wrote in that prayer and follow it with scripture…She wrote I will stand on your promise that you will make something beautiful out of my brokenness..and scripture says Isaiah 49:23 “She who trusts in the Lord will never be disappointed.” And Luke 1:45 Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her..As of today we have shared 123 of Sydney’s books filled with scripture and God’s truth. In 48 short days he truly blessed her with A Legacy of a Lifetime! So the next time you feel like you can’t do what God’s asking you to do or maybe you feel like your too broken stand firm in your belief of scripture and remember Sydney and how God was faithful and created beauty out of what she saw as brokenness
As my alarm went off this morning I knew my day would be filled with memories of one of the most amazing girls I’ve ever met. Memories of her passion on the soccer field her intelligence and sencerity and mostly her joy for life. The memories of course don’t stop there..I remembered Sydney’s time spent with Erin and the affect that Erin’s life had on her. After Sydney ran her first 5k (the Amarillo Dash) on March 7, 2010 she began talking to me about how she wished someone would start a 5k memory run in Erin’s honor. Erin had lost her battle with Neuroblastoma in April of 2009. Throughout the next 3 years she continued to bring up her desires to do a 5k for Erin. Even though time passed Erin never left Sydney’s heart. In high school her electives followed a health track and after Sydney’s accident I found in her school papers where she had a couple of writing prompts one about if she was given 100,000 what she would do with it and another if she could cure any disease what would she choose. In both cases one written Oct 11, 2011 and one written Oct 13, 2011 she mentioned Research for Neutoblastoma the specific cancer that her friend died from. When I heard last year about Erin’s Dream Race I couldn’t help but think about how happy Sydney would have been that Erin’s life and efforts towards cancer research would be honored..and of course tears fell as I knew she wouldn’t get to be a part of it. So for the second year, Stacy Cameron and I attended hoping that the Buenger’s feel not only the love we have for Erin but the love Sydney had for her as well. Today while we were walking I imagined Erin and Sydney together laughing, and watching as Erin’s life continues to help others by raising awareness and money for childhood cancer research. What an honor to know and love her! I’m including pictures from today and Sydney’s writings. We’ve also been blessed to walk with one of Sydney and Erin’s friends (Lindsey Mitchell) these last two years. She’s a beautiful example of how true love never dies!