7 Years Later

Friday we passed the 7 year mark. It’s unbelievable how large that number looks when my heart and mind are stuck in that moment as if time has stood still. To me it still seems like just yesterday. We don’t experience time the same way as others. I appreciate those who continue to support us and rally around us on that day so that the negative thoughts and the lies of the enemy aren’t the only ones we hear. Thank you Kristi for always posting and sharing pictures and helping me keep Sydney’s memory alive. It’s sad for me to say that after 7 years..YOU are the only one who did. Thank you to Marilyn for always sending us the most amazing crafty gifts that always seem to fit the memories and thoughts perfectly. Thank you to our faithful friends and Sydney’s faithful friends who continue to show up and sit with us. They aren’t just praying for us..they are the ones who have answered Gods call for them to be the answer to our prayers. I know that is a call many don’t want, and have avoided. Thank you to those few who have continued to love us instead of treating us like we don’t exist. After 7 yrs I can honestly say I still need as much love and support as I did the day it happened. After 7 years I still so desperately desire to know that Sydney’s life and love have not been forgotten. Thank you to the few people who couldn’t come by but reached out and sent messages letting us know they were thinking about and praying for us. Knowing they remembered some how makes us feel a little less alone. I have always been the easiest person in our family to approach. Stacy does not get a lot of people reaching out to him. His response is often filled with some RAW truth that many just want no part of. I am so very thankful that Marty Wilkinson and Robert Mumford cared enough to reach out to him. You have no idea what that meant to him. Thanks again for all those who were selfless enough to think of us and Sydney as we reluctantly move into another year without a part of us. I miss Sydney and I miss who I was when she was here. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be and I’m forever tossing in life trying to find a more comfortable position. One that doesn’t seem to present that throbbing ache inside my heart. I wish it was like the other throbbing aches, the ache that a little Advil could take care of, but it isn’t arthritis and no matter how much I toss and turn nothing feels comfortable, nothing feels right. I continue because I woke up breathing this morning and trust that if God gave me breathe then he has a purpose for me today. I have experienced his strength to carry me beyond my capabilities so I continue to follow him because he is the only one that has the fix to my tossing and turning. Not a new bed, not a doctor, not a therapist..just JESUS🙏🏻

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