I do catch myself “faking it” as continuing to w/o her will never be right

I told myself from day one..I would never fake it or act as though I am okay when in reality I’m dying inside. In the beginning so many accept your sadness and are willing to “face it” but Lets be honest..none of us want to see someone hurting..or be around people that are sad..some simply don’t want to be around because its easy for them to forget their own pain if they can ignore yours..I understand and must accept others decisions as I have no choice but my sadness and pain isn’t something I am able to ignore or run away from..that will only postpone the pain for a later date. I do catch myself “faking it” as continuing without her will never be right or feel right..so its impossible. My feeling of happiness will never be what it used to be in every happy and joyous moment Im desperately wishing She was experiencing it with us here on earth. Accepting Gods will for your life when it isn’t what you want or desire is HARD. How do you believe that what happened can be used for good when it hurts so bad..why does good have to come from my pain..I’m not sure I will ever know or be ok with any answer I am given..But I never doubt that God is there and working. I see so many blessing he has given and continues to give..they do not alleviate any of the pain but are a continual reminder that God didn’t take my daughter to harm me or hurt me..he’s fighting hard to encourage me and let me know she is with him waiting for me and I continue fighting hard to stand where he has put me..knowing that I do not have to “fake it” for him to use me. If I never speak of my brokenness how can anyone appreciate the strength that he gave me to live through it. I’m so Greatful to all those who have been willing to accept us damaged and continue walking and helping us find those precious moments of happiness that are so hard to come by

A year later..walking next to us

Walking next to a grieving Mother/Father and sibling..sharing memories and stories but most importantly sharing Sydney legacy and heart for the God she loved. Thank you to everyone who came out and helped us remember smile, and laugh..there is nothing Sydney would have wanted more than that..I did not get pictures with everyone it wasn’t possible but everyone was a blessing and we are forever greatful

Sharing the love that filled our house on the year anniversary

I wanted to stop by and share a little of the love that filled our house on the 10th. I know that most everyone did not actually hear of the accident until the the morning of July 11th but Sydney Lisa Jeter did actually leave us before midnight on the 10th. We spent the day on the 10th doing exactly what she would have or was doing the year before and I am so greatful and thankful for everyone that came out to help us. It was a true blessing to have people walking in and out all day long, kids playing in the pool laughing, meeting people that knew her that I didn’t know and hearing their stories of how they met her and what she meant to them, sharing the legacy God had her leave that showed her heart and soul they last two months of her life, showing people how important it was to her to separate from people and things that were pulling her away from honoring God, and the best part of the day was seeing that people were willing a year later to show up and respect and honor her. I felt the love they had for her and it touched me to my very core. For the Moms and Dads that’s children came please know I was complemented over and over by the adults here about how respectful and considerate the young adults and kids were. I cried less this day than I have any other day thanks to all who loved her in a positive way..protecting, honoring, remembering, sharing, and carrying her memory with them. I tried to take pictures with people that came by, but there was so many people..that I missed getting pictures with some very special people. Please know I am thankful for each and everyone of you that showed up, messaged me, tweeted me, or texted me whether I have a picture of you or not..you were a light shining on me! This is a journey that is never ending as the next two days mark a year from the visitation and her funeral but everyday I suffer missing such an amazingly beautiful soul that meant the world to me. We appreciate all those who have continue praying for our family.

The month of July is filled with so many last memories..that were also the best

The month of July is filled with the last memories we had with her, but it isn’t just that they were the last its that they were some of the best. The peace that filled our home as we all individual grew our relationship with God is an unbelievable gift that can’t be explained as it also grew us all closer to each other. Our family had never been stronger than we were in that last month. This last year has been an extreme test of faith and perseverance as losing Sydney has made each of us want to just give up. The pain takes you to places you never thought imaginable. Our future was shattered and everything we hoped and dreamed for was destroyed. I’ve said it before but I’m not sure anyone that didn’t know her would understand..She was our bright light..Everything could be going bad and when she walked around the corner and smiled at you..it just made you light up inside. She never walked away from the opportunity to try and make us feel better or give us the encouragement needed to get through the struggles of life…and we hadn’t even faced our hardest one…I can honestly say that we enjoyed life together because we enjoyed the same things about life. Even though we enjoyed life..we still sometimes took things for granted..I never thought for one second she would ever leave me..It just isn’t possible for your brain to think about it..On July 8, 2013 Sydney was driving home from the gym and she wrecked her car just a couple miles from the house. She called me crying and so upset..I immediately told her as long as she was okay everything would be okay. I left the house to go meet her and when I saw the car..no doubt totaled..and not a scratch on her I was thanking God every second..You see in that moment I was thankful she was still with me, but my mind was not able to understand what horror we truly avoided. I am so blessed God gave me those extra days because I might not have understood the pain I avoided but God still worked through it. We were able to tell her that nothing mattered more to us than her life..not the insurance…not the car..nothing matters more than the people in your life. Sometimes as we struggle through life we don’t take time to tell our kids how important they are. We did!! The next two days we hugged her more..said I love you more..she was so very emotional and knew God let her walk away..Those last days we were able to focus on what was important. Thursday will mark a year from the second wreck that ended up taking her life..It will be awful but truthfully everyday is hard and awful..Thursday might be a little better because it will be a day everyone is willing to stop and remember her, and that is the only thing that comes close to easing the pain of losing your child. I will get to for a day see her life be remembered and memories shared. The further you get from the day they left the less people stop to share their memories. Again our house is open on Thursday..please do not hesitate to come see us..no memory too small to share..if she touched your life in anyway before or after her death..you have the ability to touch ours.

The only thing that could make this better is to no need it at all

As a little girl and a beautiful young lady she loved the Frio River. I don’t know a better way to represent who she was and what she loved any better than to put the little girl she started as and the Godly young lady she became with the place that gave her so many amazing memories. Anyone that ever played soccer with her will immediately feel her when they see the back of her monument. It is all JETER. They will be installing at the cemetery sometime this coming week but definitely before the 10th..We anxiously awaited this headstone however receiving it and seeing it makes everything so final and real..we are so horrible heartbroken even though its absolutely beautiful! Love you Sydney forever and always!

Remembering our last big trip July 2nd 2013

Her smile, her laughter, and her personality was so easy to capture through the camera..what a blessing!