Friday we passed the 7 year mark. It’s unbelievable how large that number looks when my heart and mind are stuck in that moment as if time has stood still. To me it still seems like just yesterday. We don’t experience time the same way as others. I appreciate those who continue to support us and rally around us on that day so that the negative thoughts and the lies of the enemy aren’t the only ones we hear. Thank you Kristi for always posting and sharing pictures and helping me keep Sydney’s memory alive. It’s sad for me to say that after 7 years..YOU are the only one who did. Thank you to Marilyn for always sending us the most amazing crafty gifts that always seem to fit the memories and thoughts perfectly. Thank you to our faithful friends and Sydney’s faithful friends who continue to show up and sit with us. They aren’t just praying for us..they are the ones who have answered Gods call for them to be the answer to our prayers. I know that is a call many don’t want, and have avoided. Thank you to those few who have continued to love us instead of treating us like we don’t exist. After 7 yrs I can honestly say I still need as much love and support as I did the day it happened. After 7 years I still so desperately desire to know that Sydney’s life and love have not been forgotten. Thank you to the few people who couldn’t come by but reached out and sent messages letting us know they were thinking about and praying for us. Knowing they remembered some how makes us feel a little less alone. I have always been the easiest person in our family to approach. Stacy does not get a lot of people reaching out to him. His response is often filled with some RAW truth that many just want no part of. I am so very thankful that Marty Wilkinson and Robert Mumford cared enough to reach out to him. You have no idea what that meant to him. Thanks again for all those who were selfless enough to think of us and Sydney as we reluctantly move into another year without a part of us. I miss Sydney and I miss who I was when she was here. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be and I’m forever tossing in life trying to find a more comfortable position. One that doesn’t seem to present that throbbing ache inside my heart. I wish it was like the other throbbing aches, the ache that a little Advil could take care of, but it isn’t arthritis and no matter how much I toss and turn nothing feels comfortable, nothing feels right. I continue because I woke up breathing this morning and trust that if God gave me breathe then he has a purpose for me today. I have experienced his strength to carry me beyond my capabilities so I continue to follow him because he is the only one that has the fix to my tossing and turning. Not a new bed, not a doctor, not a therapist..just JESUS
I love when I hear a song that just touches my soul because the words connect with my journey. This song does just that. I know many think my need or desire for Jesus started after the accident but He was SO VERY present in every part of the previous 3 months. The words “every minute, every moment of where I’ve been and where I’m going, even when I didn’t know it and couldn’t see it” just seem to explain so many parts of our journey Jesus had been in our lives prior. Before soccer moved to Sundays we spent a lot of time in church and Sydney Lisa Jeter spent many years in Awanas memorizing scripture, went to vacation bible school, and loved to go to youth group. In all that, something had still been missing but In the moments of those last 3 months I knew something was different. The intensity was tangible. I knew he was working, I could feel him. I saw him in Sydney’s smile. It literally changed everything about her when she began to understand God’s love for her. She was free of the burdens of rejection and imperfection. She radiated with a light that’s unexplainable. I’m blessed to know that radiant light, was also witness by Stacy and a few others. Right in the middle of our brokenness, in the middle of my mistakes as a mother, in the middle of our living room, at the kitchen counter, in her closet, and even at the end of her last breathe here..THERE WAS JESUS. I knew then, that it was real but looking back now these words describe it best..THERE WAS JESUS.. we were the ones in need of an amazing kinda grace, forgiveness and a price we couldn’t pay..In the middle of it all was Gods beautiful faithfulness. I wish I could touch people and allow them to see and experience all I experienced, but all I have is words that I can write for you, her words that I can share and my prayers that no one ever doubt, that even when you can’t see him in those moments, he is there. If you ever wonder, if you ever need to hear a testimony that is too big for a post..look through Sydney’s website, message me, call me, I’d love to share Jesus with you.
Several months ago, I grabbed some tickets to see a very special band Tenth Avenue North. For those who don’t know the story. Their song By your side was the last song playing in the car the night Sydney met Jesus. I hadn’t ever heard of the band prior to that but I immediately had to go listen. I cannot tell you the peace and comfort the words brought me, and then I came across Hold my heart and that song literally described my heart. Music was the tool God used to help me survive. The words to these songs were the truth I needed to be reminded of. Music somehow made me feel connected to God and heaven, which connected me to Sydney. I also know that God specifically chose this band to be a part of my journey. I had no idea when I got the tickets that this would end up being the last tour they would do as Tenth Avenue North. I can’t explain to you in a post all the ways God worked all around us the past several years through them. God is so good and these guys were so amazing. We got to sit on the bus and have coffee with them and just talk to them. There were only 6 of us. We got to share a little of Sydney’s story with them and thank them for the music they created and the sacrifice they make to be away from their family. We got to ask them about their lives and where they find encouragement when times get tough for them. I had 3 Play For Jeter bracelets with me and after the small group got through talking, I asked them if they would want to wear one of Sydney’s bands for my picture. They all said of course❤️These little small things mean so much. They actually kept them on throughout the concert. I know it’s just a bracelet but seeing it on someone’s arm never fails to make me smile. I always feel like Sydney is there with me but I couldn’t help but feel God gave her the opportunity to be there with them. Thank you God! My cup runneth over. Wishing them lots of luck on their next chapters and some much needed family time. Here are some pictures and videos from the night. Yes Mike personally made our coffee, yes he stood in our chairs, yes he played both songs By your Side and Hold my heart. #PlayForJeter #missablekindofgirl #tenthavenuenorth #noshametantour
Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth!! Life isn’t about what you accumulate this side of heaven..Its about what you accumulate FOR ETERNITY! Luke 1:45 Blessed is she who believed that The Lord would fulfill his promises to her. Miss you always and forever
I’m going to be honest. I do not like the story of Job. I do not find comfort in even the restoration that God provided because when you’ve lost a child you know what the rest of the world doesn’t..there is no restoration for what you’ve lost apart from heaven. Another child or 10 more children will NEVER replace the unique beautiful ones he lost or we have lost. Money and stature may make grieving a little easier as the weights of everyday life may be a little less but it DOES NOT take away the pain of losing and missing your child. I wanted to start by saying that because I think the story of Job is so much deeper than what we are often taught today. I hear this story told and it’s often told in a way that encourages people to continue when it’s dark because if you do God will restore everything to you. He may however he may not..regardless Job didn’t have his story to encourage him or a story of someone else to encourage him. He had himself and his faith in God. I think Job’s story isn’t about what happened at the end, I think Job’s story is about showing and teaching us that even in the dark times unbeknownst to us, if we trust and continue regardless of our circumstances he can use us as a witness and to encourage others. Maybe Jobs story isn’t about the blessings at the end, maybe it’s about the fact that he walked into the darkness and trusted God not knowing how it would end. The relationship that obedience created between God and Job was unbreakable because Job knew God was and will forever be his only hope. The story of Job is a witness of the belief that we are nothing apart from God and to what profit is it for a man to gain the world but lose his own soul. Something to think about..or maybe just what I think about.
Sydney and I got to sit and really study many scriptures in the last couple of months of her life. Seeing the word of God come to life in her was the gift I cherish most, and digging deep into the meaning is one of the things I so desperately miss doing with her. I still dig deep and study and God never fails to provide me with something new and today, as I sit searching for peace and encouragement God provided exactly what I needed. I know Sydney’s mission statement was to h…elp others who felt unworthy believe that they were loved. So this is definitely a scripture I would have loved to watch come to life in her and see how she would have shared it with the world. It’s something I truly needed to see. I not only needed to see the example set before me, but the love Jesus had for his followers. As a follower of Jesus (a disciple) he is my example, In John 13:15 Jesus says that he is our example and we should do for others as he has done for us. In John 17 when Jesus prays to his father, he asks to protect his disciples from the evil one🙏🏻He chose to pray this knowing in just a few hours he is going to be betrayed, arrested, beaten and ultimately crucified. He is not sending selfish prayers but instead concerned with their protection knowing what he is about to endure, but in these verses he not only prays for them but he prays for ALL who will believe in him through their message. Wow!! Jesus himself prayed for ME! As he was about to face the hardest moments of his life he is asking God to protect his disciples and all, present and future, believers from evil and to unify us in his absence. He knew how hard it was going to be in this world with out him. I can’t help but think about how serious Jesus felt about prayer and what it meant to him and then to think I was someone he prayed for. The son of God himself prayed for me. It gives me the push I need to keep going, the reminder of his unfailing love, and the example I’m suppose to strive to be. So for all those following Jesus who may be struggling, and need prayer. I hope you find strength, peace and encouragement knowing Jesus himself covered you in prayer and I hope it makes you feel as loved as it made me feel!!
I’m not sure if anyone else has done this but I think a lot about the moment Sydney met Jesus which in a few short hours will be exactly 5 yrs ago. I can only imagine the peace he brought to her after being thrashed around. It’s a blessing for me to know that she didn’t have long before the accident began and she was standing present before The Lord perfectly new with not one single injury. Healed in a way we think and try to understand but can not. Her life upon earth may have ended at that moment but her real life was just beginning. As much as I’d like to think she stayed around the accident watching us, worried about us and how we would make it, like the movies would show..I know she didn’t. Instead she was standing with The Prince of Peace, she was not holding on to Bible versus..she was experiencing him personally. Can you imagine the amount of love she felt at that moment. Anyone who knew Sydney knew all she ever wanted in this life was to be loved. She loved others so deeply because that’s how she wanted to be loved and at this moment she would no longer have to try and get that from broken people who were incapable of providing it. No more heartbreak or heartache because God’s love is perfect. Her hearts desire truly standing right before her offering his hand however I’m sure she probably talked him into giving her a piggyback ride💞I find peace in knowing she is free from the pain and heartache of this world and at the same time ache to the depths of my soul because I want so badly to share in these moments as I know her smile and laughter would be far greater than what she experienced here. So thankful for God’s promises and the sacrifice of Jesus. I can’t wait to join her and sit as she tells me the real story of when she met Jesus because I’m positive my imagination and thoughts can not come close to the truth of her actual experience but I find peace knowing it wouldn’t be less than my imagination but instead abundantly more!