I can only imagine

I’m not sure if anyone else has done this but I think a lot about the moment Sydney met Jesus which in a few short hours will be exactly 5 yrs ago. I can only imagine the peace he brought to her after being thrashed around. It’s a blessing for me to know that she didn’t have long before the accident began and she was standing present before The Lord perfectly new with not one single injury. Healed in a way we think and try to understand but can not. Her life upon earth may have ended at that moment but her real life was just beginning. As much as I’d like to think she stayed around the accident watching us, worried about us and how we would make it, like the movies would show..I know she didn’t. Instead she was standing with The Prince of Peace, she was not holding on to Bible versus..she was experiencing him personally. Can you imagine the amount of love she felt at that moment. Anyone who knew Sydney knew all she ever wanted in this life was to be loved. She loved others so deeply because that’s how she wanted to be loved and at this moment she would no longer have to try and get that from broken people who were incapable of providing it. No more heartbreak or heartache because God’s love is perfect. Her hearts desire truly standing right before her offering his hand however I’m sure she probably talked him into giving her a piggyback rideđź’žI find peace in knowing she is free from the pain and heartache of this world and at the same time ache to the depths of my soul because I want so badly to share in these moments as I know her smile and laughter would be far greater than what she experienced here. So thankful for God’s promises and the sacrifice of Jesus. I can’t wait to join her and sit as she tells me the real story of when she met Jesus because I’m positive my imagination and thoughts can not come close to the truth of her actual experience but I find peace knowing it wouldn’t be less than my imagination but instead abundantly more!

Jeter Playing For Jeter

Sometimes I get tears in my eyes simply because I know the blessing it is to be able to watch Cameron play soccer. There simply aren’t words to describe how much I love and cherish every moment God gives me with him. I am so proud of his passion for the game and his desire to create opportunities to work on his weaknesses and continue growing as a player. As I already posted he choose to wear number 8 (his sister’s retired number) in honor of her. What many don’t know is that Sydney’s high school number her freshman year was not 8 but 18, it changed to 8 her sophomore year and she also wore 18 her last competitive season so when the accident happened they asked me if we preferred to retire 8 or 18. We decided on 8 since it was her most recent number. When Cameron was asking me which number he should choose I told him it didn’t matter they are both special. He chose 8, however last week he stepped out on the field with number 18 when I saw him I couldn’t help but smile. It was a beautiful surprise. There is no greater feeling than watching him find ways to let her play with him and keep her a part of his life. I am in awe of the gifts God has given me and I am so grateful that he chose me to be their MOM.

Nothing will ever come between us..I’ll be standing right next to you!

Today is 2 1/2 yrs..2 1/2 yrs since I got to wrap my arms around her and hug her..There’s never a second of the day I’m not thinking about and missing her. I wish so badly that knowing she’s standing right next to me could some how satisfy my aching heart but my flesh will never be satisfied until the day we are reunited with her again. Until then I will fix my eyes and heart on God and live my life honoring her every step of the way. Forever loving and missing you Sydney Lisa Jeter

Pictures are just too empty without her

I know many will never understand the pain of never being able to take another picture of your child and Thank God you don’t..but for me I feel it everyday maybe its because I can’t seem to face reality of her being gone..maybe its that pictures look so empty without her..or maybe its just because she never ran from the camera and instead always enjoyed me taking pics..whatever the reason my heart breaks over and over again knowing she should be there and isn’t so I will forever look for a way to feel like I’ve taken a picture with her or include her..it will never seem right any other way..forever wishing Gods will for our lives wasn’t for us to walk this life without her

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