Your strength inspires me

I’ve heard many times “Your strength inspires me” I immediately think my strength? I am not strong I have absolutely no strength..I feel so weak and broken..my mind is constantly consumed with thoughts about her, what if’s, I still cry, I still hurt, I still miss her voice, I still miss her hugs, I still miss her craziness, I still miss watching her grow as a disciple and worship in church, I still miss our bible studies, I still miss EVERYTHING and then I have to try and balance life around all that.. It makes me wonder how anyone sees strength..I think that what people see in not actually strength but rather the peace that I have because I believe and trust God more than I do the lies Satan continues to whisper to me. You see I truly only had two choices the day I lost her..One was to let Satan beat me down and destroy any purpose God had left for my life and the other was to believe and trust God and allow him to use every broken piece I had left to help him bring good out of the destruction. No matter how much I wanted having Sydney back wasn’t one of my choices..letting myself..self destruct wasn’t going to bring my baby girl back or bring any kind of peace into my life..The choice however was still mine to make..I often think about all the blessings I would have lost had I chose to not follow God’s light and guidance..The people he’s placed in my life, the things he’s taught me through obedience, the rewards are more than I could ever imagine..You see we aren’t going to ever stop bad things from happening in this world, but we are given a choice to join God as he works to help us survive this broken world..I believe it is only through my weakness that I have experienced the true power of God’s strength..If you are broken and struggling I want you to understand you don’t have to feel strong, for others to see strength you simply have to cling to God and his truth with all that you have and he does everything else.

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