Changes..changes…and more changes

So many things happening lately. Cameron is finishing up school football his last game will be Monday then only two weeks left of soccer season. He’s done well and I’m super proud of all his hard work. He knew nothing about football when he started but he played because he knew his sister always talked about how she couldn’t wait for him to play. I know she is super proud of him! We made it through another hard day Friday night. We always had the most amazing Halloweens..I loved them so much and miss them. I think the biggest change we’ve made is me returning to work. I started working again on Thursday. As I drove to work..all the memories of my mornings with Sydney and Cameron started rushing through my mind. I had thought about whether I was emotionally stable enough to even think or perform a job..but I worried so much about this piece I didn’t realize until I started driving..that this was the first time I would ever drive to work without her in the car with me..gosh the whole it puts in your heart when you realize over and over again that the world keeps moving even though I’m emotionally still stuck on the side of the road holding on to her the best that I can. I hate doing anything new in life..those huge life changes..because I’m forced to move forward in life without her..and with that comes an empty agonizing pain that is indescribable..I managed to choke down my tears and do what I needed to do..its a good job..good ppl and God blessed me with the fact that the building is adjacent to the cemetery..in my mind I tell myself she’s right next to me if I have a bad day I can literally go to the end of the parking lot and look across the field and see her headstone. I made it through two days of work without crying but the minute I get in the car the tears immediately stream down my face..each day continues to be a challenge for Stacy and I as this second year is for sure much harder than the first. We continue to seek God with all we have focusing on the promises of seeing our precious girl again..missing her laughter and craziness every second

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