Knowing what’s coming next doesn’t take away the pain you feel now

As many get ready for Prom today (A&M Consolidated Sydney’s school) I woke up with an empty ache deep in my stomach. I cried myself to sleep last night wanting so desperately for this not to be real but unfortunately it is. I did not get to wake her up this morning and see her excitement and giddiness. I didn’t get to take her to pick out a dess and I won’t be doing her hair and makeup and taking pictures so we can share happy moments with the world..Instead I’m fighting back the tears trying my best to honor and glorify God in all I do but I still hurt I still feel I’m not a super hero I’m human and I’ve lost my beautiful girl and living without her is a battle I will face everyday for the rest of my life..God continues to show me how amazing he is and that he is with me every step of the way. Blessing me beyond what I deserve but just as Jesus knew he would raise Lazarus from the dead..I know I will be reunited with her..but Jesus still wept..he cried because knowing what’s coming next doesn’t take away the pain you feel now..Just as Jesus cried I cry for the moments I have lost. My faith no more diminishes my pain then my pain diminishes my faith. I would love to share some advice from a mom who has thought over every moment I ever had and how I would do things different..take individuals pictures of your child but most importantly take a picture with your child. Be silly hug them make memories that you look back on with a smile. I love how we didn’t overdo her makeup and I fixed her hair and she looked beyond beautiful. Love you always sweet girl

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