My walk tonight is all for you

Thank you for every little thought, the encouragement offered by many, and every single prayer spoken. I could not and would not have made it last night with out it. It was truly the hardest thing so far I’ve ever had to do. While planning the visitation and funeral a parent is in shock which protects them from the overwhelming emotional pain, while they may seem strong the truth is we really are just in capable of understanding the reality of what’s happening. Almost two years later I’m not protected from the “fog” or shock anymore and I FEEL the emptiness more then ever. The decision to accept her diploma and me to walk for her was not mine but Stacy’s as he felt very strongly that it was the least she deserved and probably the last time her name may ever be called aloud in Public. He said I’d rather regret doing it then regret not doing it. In the beginning as we were walking to our seats we had a moment where evil presented itself and almost caused us to leave, but instead we reminded ourselves that the only way Good can overcome Evil is if we don’t allow it to keep us from doing the good we were there to do, and not taking that moment from my precious girl. As the Graduates starting lining up to walk the stage most that new us and saw us sitting there smiled waved or stopped and hugged us. You will never understand how those small acts of love for us and Sydney allowed our focus to change and gave us the strength to finish for Sydney. I was nervous and my insides felt like mush but I kept it together with only small tears until I looked out and saw ALL of her CLASS on their feet cheering for her. It was overwhelming humbling and an experience that touched my heart like nothing before. I only wish I had gotten a picture of it so if you know anyone that might have taken a picture of that moment I would love a copy. Before I left for graduation that day I wrote my 6th poem this one titled Walk for YOU, I have put it together with the video from last night and will post it. I will end by saying It might not have been her physical body on that stage but it is HER love and spirit that guided me every step of the way