Its unreal the amount of pain someone can feel and still be alive

Last week I smiled a little this week however seems to be impossible. Its unreal the amount of pain someone can feel and still be alive. I keep praying for God to protect Cameron and give us the strength to provide him with the life he deserves, but there is no way to pretend his life hasn’t been affected. He loved his sister and no longer has her. We as parents are changed forever by the loss of our precious Sydney. No matter how strong we are or how hard we try to make his life what it would have been we can’t because it would have been with her. He was born into this world with a sister, he never lived a day without her and his life is forever changed by her not being with us. He doesn’t want to participate in Halloween. He didn’t say why just that he doesn’t want to, but all I can think about is how she took him around last year, and the year before. His life will forever be missing her and it doesn’t matter if I wipe all the tears away before he gets home, smile more or laugh with him. I don’t ask why he took her because I really don’t want to know but I do find myself asking why he gave her so many amazing gifts and talents, why did he allow her to be someone we can’t live without if he was going to take her so young? Stacy called the other day and said lets promised whoever sees her first tells her how much the other one missed and loved her everyday…I live in his word everyday just to be able to survive and make it to the next day. God’s promises of being with him and being reunited with her is what we all 3 live for.