7/10/13…8/10/13…9/10/13…10/10/13…11/10/13 and now 12/10/13. The last month of 2013 once Jan rolls around we will be in a new year..a year that my baby never got to be alive in. Just another reminder that my precious girl is gone and not coming back. I’m trying so hard to be strong and to continue living and doing things with Stacy and Cameron. We’ve been to aggie games, high school football games, movies, bowling, fishing, disc golf, hunting, and I’m sure I’m leaving something out. We are trying to continue living to make her proud she has only been gone 5 months I think we have done pretty good however the hole in our hearts and the agonizing pain never lets up. It is a constant battle to continue living this life without her. The tears don’t stop and the pain actually seems to get worse with time. I’m scared of what the Holidays are going to do to me. I’m scared of hurting worse then I already do because I’m not sure I can take it. If it wasn’t for God I wouldn’t have made it this far. The hope he offers in eternal life with no more pain and no more tears a life spent with him and being reunited with my beautiful girl is the only thing that sustains me through the darkness. In one of the books she read that changed her heart she highlighted “if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you 1 Peter 4:19” she knew just what to leave for me to find. Its almost as if she was talking to me from Heaven. I am just a Mom struggling everyday to find hope, and peace in this life though losing my daughter whom I loved so very much. Trying to attain the level of faith and trust she had in her God at the end of her life. I am missing her more and more each day. Love you Sydney Lisa Jeter forever and always!