Realizing nothing will ever be the same

I realize that as I walk through this life with a part of us missing..nothing will ever be the same. Rainy days are depressing..sunny days I’m lonely missing my girl who was willing to pick up and go anywhere to do anything at any moment. Her birthday, Cameron’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years…every single holiday is missing something..Even the most perfect moments of my life are going to be missing something..I can’t change it I can’t stop the pain I can only draw near to God and know that on that day that my life became permanently missing something..she was given the most amazing gift of eternal life. I realize how amazing God is because I know I couldn’t survive everyday if it wasn’t for his promises and love. I’m still learning and walking through all of my first and on Thursday I took Cameron to see Imagine Dragons..Sydney Lisa Jeter had talked to him about it and she had already made plans to take him..so I walked where she was unable to walk..she was so excited and couldn’t wait to have that time with him..I was full of mixed emotions as I stepped in and fulfilled her dream of taking him..I was proud to do it for her but I also felt overwhelmed and a little angry that this moment was stolen from her and Cameron but I found the strength and walked through another first..Cameron Rachel and I had a great time..I enjoyed watching how happy he was and I know she was right there with us watching him as well..I understand fully what it means to lean of God for your strength..I’m not really capable of living through what I’ve been dealt..it is hard enough just living life without Sydney but some people chose to give us additional lies, and betrayal to deal with..in the end when all is said and done I will leave Justice up to my father in heaven..he says woe to anyone who causes one of mine to stumble..the lies that cause me more depression and have caused me more suffering..well those people will stand before God one day and will answer for it..if they haven’t repented and changed their life they will end up in eternal hell and the only way to avoid that is by true repentance and that would mean facing all the lies they have told..God is real and his justice is real..it either happens in this life or the next but you can’t avoid it!

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