Major milestone–Happy 18th Birthday Sydney

Here I am so I made it through another major milestone without her. Honestly it is horrible to live life and go through moments that were suppose to be for her without her. Its exhausting painful and kills me inside but the day always comes and goes because that is the way life works..I wasn’t able to plan much for her birthday because the weather said it was going to rain. I didn’t want to invite everyone out and then it start raining and have to cancel things so we just kinda went with the flow of it…Cameron was pretty persistent on sending up some kind of a birthday cake to his sister with balloons and I had ordered a sky lantern to send off..The wind was blowing as usual..but we wrapped up a heart shaped angel food cake decorated with an 18 on it and attached it to 25 balloons and sent it up to her. We weren’t sure it would fly but it did and Cameron was happy. Then we waited for about an hour until it was getting dark and started doing the sky lantern. I had never done one before so it was quite the experience. We finally got it lit with all the wind and then it collapsed back and burnt a hole in the side. We figured it was done and all the sudden it started to float up..For any of you that knew Sydney..this was the perfect Sydney moment…nothing ever goes right but it ends up working out and then you have some crazy adventure to remember. I’m thankful for all the prayers everyone sent and for the ones that were able to find time to stop by or join us..Nothing about my life will ever seem right ever again..I’m never going to be satisfied with any celebration because without her its always missing the biggest and brightest part of us..but it was as good as I guess its going to be and God continues to teach me that just as ppl had left Sydney’s life as she chose to walk with God he was faithful to provide her with people after his own heart to replace them…God has done the same for us..As we have continued to walk the path with God that we started with her..some chose to walk away from us and her memory…but if you stay trusting God it is amazing to see him replace those people in your life with Godly people who end up blessing you beyond what you thought was even possible. Again I planned nothing for her birthday but ended up spending time with and seeing post from all those we know God has put in our life. Thank you to everyone who helped get us through this tough day..Loving and missing my beautiful girl forever and always. This picture taken on her last birthday with us at midnight when she turned 16
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