I’m not crazy I’m a grieving MOM

I am not crazy, I am not going to do anything that would dishonor my God or my daughter. The feelings I express on here are merely the words bleeding out of my heart. Hopefully my words will help someone understand how badly we hurt, or maybe it will remind them to take a second and pray for us, maybe it allows them to see how special and beautiful my daughter was when she was alive, or maybe it is just my way of getting them out of me so that new ones can fill there spot that may not be as raw. Sydney Lisa Jeter was not just my daughter, she was what any child is to their parents, part of my hopes my dreams my future. For the rest of my life when I wake up in the morning she will be what I think of, when I go to sleep she will be my last thought, and if God wants to share an extra blessing she will also be in my dreams at night. She was a part of me and that will never die. My desire to see her will not ease or decrease until it happens. These are natural feelings a parent has when they have lost their child. I often share post from a facebook page called Silent Grief – Child Loss Support hoping that anyone who thinks my pain is not normal will read not only her post as they speak my feeling exactly, but just for a second read the hundreds of comments from other hurting parents that have lost a child. For those that have experienced the horrific nightmare we live in…they feel the exact same way. I am not crazy I am just not who I used to be…a part of my died with her as she was a part of me. I am now a bereaved parent forever missing and remembering the amazing daughter I had that was taken from me. Nothing will ever make it better, and time does not heal. But I do believe that my God did not allow that night to happen to hurt me, a parent would never do that to a child they love and I am his child. I will wake up everyday think of my precious baby girl and know that I will start my day praying not my will God but yours. These holidays have ripped us to pieces. I think, through it al,l we have done well so far because we know we aren’t truly alone even though we feel it. God is there walking beside us every step of the way, and he has her right beside him.

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