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Jeter Playing For Jeter

Sometimes I get tears in my eyes simply because I know the blessing it is to be able to watch Cameron play soccer. There simply aren’t words to describe how much I love and cherish every moment God gives me with him. I am so proud of his passion for the game and his desire to create opportunities to work on his weaknesses and continue growing as a player. As I already posted he choose to wear number 8 (his sister’s retired number) in honor of her. What many don’t know is that Sydney’s high school number her freshman year was not 8 but 18, it changed to 8 her sophomore year and she also wore 18 her last competitive season so when the accident happened they asked me if we preferred to retire 8 or 18. We decided on 8 since it was her most recent number. When Cameron was asking me which number he should choose I told him it didn’t matter they are both special. He chose 8, however last week he stepped out on the field with number 18 when I saw him I couldn’t help but smile. It was a beautiful surprise. There is no greater feeling than watching him find ways to let her play with him and keep her a part of his life. I am in awe of the gifts God has given me and I am so grateful that he chose me to be their MOM.

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Are you in the middle?

I used to think that bad things didn’t happen to good people..when I look back now I can see I felt that way because I was only processing the part of the bible I wanted to..When I thought about Daniel and the lions den I thought about his victory and survival. I paid attention to the beginning and the end but not the middle. I see now that God unveiled his faithfulness to others at the end but in the middle is where God is personally at work and proves his faithfulness to you. The middle is where we experience God in ways that allow us to see things differently and grow closer to him. The middle is where without God you can’t survive..The middle doesn’t feel good and it isn’t comfortable..the middle is where the potter’s pottery is spinning and the shape is changing and if you continue to stay in the potters hands the middle is where that crazy piece of clay that looks messy and disfigured is spun into something beautiful. Without the middle you’re just a piece of clay but after going through the middle you look different to the world. That’s when they can see God’s work within you. If your in the middle trust and know that the middle is where you get to meet God personally🙏🏻

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Beauty out of Ashes 

‪I remember the day I stood face to face w/my faith..face to face w/my belief in the word..the day I had to answer the question Is God alone enough..just days before Sydney and I were discussing this very subject. I assured her that as long as she had God the rest didn’t matter. Honestly at the time I was thinking that if you had God then everything else in life would fall into place. I was encouraging her to trust that if God was asking her to remove people from her life that even if he didn’t replace them, as long as she had God she had all she needed. So she began putting space between the relationships she felt didn’t honor God. Some she knew would die completely but some she felt she could still hold onto as long as she was wearing the amour of God when she was with them. If she was keeping the relationship her sole desire was to bring them into a relationship with God alongside her. She purposely and strategically thought about how when and where she would hang out with them. She decided one on one would be better than the usual group atmosphere as it was easier to protect herself and keep her focus on God. She made sure the environment she hung out with them in was a safe place for her..she invited them to her house and asked me to help her continue to honor God even when the get together wasn’t a bible study and the person didn’t know God. So the day I stood face to face with not only my faith and belief but death and a separation I could never have even imagined was 7/11/13 not 7/10/13 because yes Sydney took her last breathe on 7/10/13 but it wasn’t until 3am on 7/11/13 when I was told my daughter didn’t make it and it was 7/11/13 when I sat at my kitchen table wondering how I could survive..scared I would never feel joy and happiness again..the day the question started roaring through my mind “Is God alone enough?” I knew what the right answer was and began to realize the real question roaring through my mind was.. Did I BELIEVE God alone was enough. Before this moment in my life I had not ever had to truly answer this question..Don’t get me wrong I surely thought I had answered it I thought I had stepped out in faith but I was whole unbroken and strong. I had never faced a moment where I didn’t feel I was sort of in control. I’ve never been a materialistic person. The things that made me happy we’re people not things. I had all I needed in my life..life was not perfect..it was not a fairy tale..but my family was taking our issues to God and solving them with the word of God..so I felt at peace protected and was watching God sweep Sydney off her feet. The love and light that shined through her was nothing I had ever seen before. Sidenote: (For all those moms who want your daughters to be loved..stop teaching them they need to find this love from the world or a man..the love that will change their life is simply the LOVE OF GOD ALONE..but they can’t believe it, if you don’t believe it) I’ve always said your faith grows not in reading the word but instead when you experience God, when you live out the word when you see and feel God working in and around your life and there was no doubt God was everywhere we turned. So that day I sat there with Sydney it was easy for me to tell her God alone is enough because I had never stood face to face with the reality of it..I had never had to stand before the Giant with only a stone and I had never had to step into the burning fire trusting and believing that God would fulfill his promise and bring me out alive or walk into the raging Red Sea trusting God to separate the waters and I had never had to face a day without one of the most precious gifts I had ever received. She was everything I dreamed of and then a million times more..I continually asked God how..how was I suppose to survive when he took one of the best pieces of me..the question continued to roar in my head “Is God alone enough?”..thinking continually on my moments with Sydney knowing whole heartedly I did believe it..I believed it when I told her and I believed it now because his word says it..and if his word says it then it is truth..My relationship with God changed at that moment b/c starting this day I could not move without him..my baby was gone and the devastation was all consuming..I didn’t want to spend a day away from her and certainly not years..but I survive because of God and God alone..I survive because I know God is real because I can’t survive this yet I am..I survive because my faith and belief are REAL..I survive because it may be years but it won’t be eternity..I have seen the beauty brought out of the ashes..I have seen God bring good from the bad..He continues to allow Sydney’s life to touch people he continues to allow her to share wisdom truth and her testimony with people and she’s not even here..the beauty that comes from the ashes wont make it right and it will NEVER be ok..but it is real..it is a gift..It is Gods way of reminding me of his faithfulness..reminding me that HE ALONE IS ENOUGH. My life continues to change and be a challenge but I face each day knowing I can silence the roaring question..I may not have battled a giant or faced hungry lions but I have faced death and just as God was with them and brought them through it he is with me and brings me through it..mine is not a short fight..one throw of a stone and I won..it’s a long journey but I’m thankful I don’t live in circumstances but instead I live in truth and that truth gives me hope for something more than the circumstances I face in this life. That truth reminds me this life is temporary therefore this pain and suffering will not last forever. That truth is the reason I continue.

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It doesn’t matter where he goes he never fails to bring her memory with him

This young man blows me away..It is not just the athlete that he is..it is the Man he has become. It doesn’t matter where he goes he never fails to bring Sydney’s memory with him, but this time when I looked out on the field, he was standing next to a teammate and I saw not one Play For Jeter bracelet but two.  You see that bracelet is something my family recognizes without even trying, so to look through the lens and see number 87 standing next to Derrick I immediately noticed it..I can only imagine the joy Sydney feels knowing that Derrick has shared a little bit of her story with his teammates. As far as our family, there is no greater gift than the gift of knowing that Sydney is not only remembered and loved by Derrick, but that she is..in the only way she can..still meeting new people and touching their lives in some way. However with Derrick is doesn’t stop there.  He doesn’t have to but he continues to allow us to be a part of his life, to join him on his journey, to be there for Cameron offering advice and guidance as he walks through high school.  It’s hard to explain, but after losing a child, a lot of people become uncomfortable around you, or choose to avoid you..Derrick makes us feel a little less broken and a little more normal..He treats us just like he always did when Sydney was here, and for that we are grateful. We love to watch him play this game, and I always know that as I’m taking pictures I’m going to capture a pic of him smiling and that always makes me smile.  Thank you Derrick for everything!

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There are no words to describe how much fun Sydney brought to Halloween

I only got 16 Halloween’s with Sydney and even less with Cameron since he hasn’t participated since their last Halloween together. Thank you God for the memories I do have​..I’m holding tight..Forever missing you Sydney

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Happy 20th Birthday Sydney Lisa Jeter

My heart is so broken because you were just so amazing. From the little spitfire at 18 months old so boldly telling me to leave you alone to the amazing young lady you became who desired nothing more than to share the love of God you found with other who felt broken and worthless. I wonder what your earthly birthday is like in heaven I know you probably don’t celebrate being born on this earth in heaven but I wonder do you celebrate that as the day you met me and your daddy for the first time? This is my 4th birthday without you, but it still hurts as bad as the 1st one. I thought I would bless your page with a little bit of you. Happy 20th birthday my forever 16 year old baby girl. I love you FOREVER AND ALWAYS Sydney Lisa Jeter

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Spreading Sydney’s love on the 3 yr anniversary 


Today has been rough as it is 3 years that I was forced to say goodbye to my beautiful daughter who brought so much joy and happiness to not only to my life but so many others. I began the day with millions of tears and even questioned whether I was going to be strong enough to follow through with all the kindness acts we had planned today. I continued to fight hard to push through. Honestly it was harder than I thought it would be to focus on the positive without letting my pain devour me.  I am blessed to know that I have some of the most amazing friends who went above and beyond to honor Sydney today. Sydney’s friends were out and about as well and two stopped by to check on us as we were leaving for our adventures so we brought them along. We filled Bryan College Station with so much of Sydney love. We had purchased gift cards to chick fil a Walmart Jj’s snow cones and McDonald’s to hand out along with balloons to children and roses because who doesn’t love flowers. I loved seeing the three teenage boys walk up to hard working nurses and hand them a rose and a gift card. We brought cookies and brownies to a few College Station Fire Stations and delivered some gift cards to The Bryan Police Station. It brought tears to my eyes to stop by and thank Shelly Carly and Holden for the creative lemonade stand. It truly blew me away. I ended my day by stopping by to tell a young boy (who has seen so much suffering himself) know how much I think about and pray for him. I wanted to encourage him and let him know that he is an amazing little boy. I got to bless him with a signed Astro’s ball thanks to Shelly Janac and Riley Ferrell and a superman shirt (with a cape) and a gift card to his favorite restraunt. I’m ending my day forever missing my beautiful girl but knowing she continue to love and touch people today thanks to everyone who stepped out to love someone because of the love Sydney so freely gave.

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Happy Father’s Day: Sydney’s “dancing” was filled a little with dancing and a lot with adventures

Sydney loved to love people and I know she would have taken the time to make sure everyone knew how much she loved and adored her Daddy.  Happy Fathers Day Stacy

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Missing you on Mother’s Day

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I wish people could understand

Some days I wish so badly for people to understand..to understand what it takes to just take a breath..Living life after you’ve lost a child is a daily battle..what I overcome today..means nothing as I wake tomorrow and face it all over again. The best example I can give is that it’s like the movie ground hog day..I get up everyday in the same horrible reality. I remember what I did yesterday and the day before and I’m able to avoid what hurts and try something new to see if I can wake tomorrow and it be over or at least the pain and agony be less..but tomorrow’s alarm goes off and as my eyes open it all starts to happen again..day after day after day..and after almost 3 years of waking up the pain and ache of living without Sydney and forever missing a part of me hasn’t went away, it hasn’t gotten better or easier..if anything it continues to get worse..I live with the frustration of knowing I can’t fix it..that no one can fix this..you can’t force yourself to feel better..its a wrong that will never be right..Truth is with each repeating day the only thing that grows and the only thing that changes is my knowledge of God and how big he is..as I look back on my repeating nightmare..I see God everywhere..it is he who has guided and protected me..he who gives me the people who understand and love the part of me that’s left. He who offers for me to join him in helping others or loving on others who are lost in this valley. It is he who uses those who come to me for help..to actually help and encourage me..it is he who gave me such a beautiful gift to miss so much..he humbles me not because I feel like I deserve something and he reminds me that I don’t..instead he humbles me because he continues to move and make things happen that can only be from him..his blessings are far greater than what I could have thought to ask for and he is willing to give those gifts to someone who may not be able to function tomorrow..someone who fights to breath..there are so many people ready to fight each day who are whole and strong..yet he continues to wake with me everyday believing more in me than I believe in myself.