Bluebonnets and Sydney ❤
Spring Break Adventure for Sydney
Stacy Cameron and I started spring break a little early this year..Some of our best friends have spring break the week before ours so we left out on Friday and they held over on Monday so that the boys would be able to enjoy some of spring break together. So we headed off to do Spring Break at Garner on The Frio River. If you asked Sydney her favorite place I’m pretty positive she would say The Frio and we were so blessed to get to share some of the things Sydney loved so much with our best friends. I can’t say it took away the pain because that’s impossible but Cameron got to tell stories of his last spring break with Sydney and reminisce about climbing old baldy with her and taking pictures in the same spot he took them with her. It filled my heart to hear him talk about that last trip with his friends and how much he cherishes those memories. As the week went on we continued to create memories and adventure for Sydney..I climbed and hiked (which I don’t do) Cameron and his friends got all dressed up and went to the dance (Cameron did not dance but just going would have made his sister super proud) they even gave out some of Sydney’s cards to some of the girls at the dance and me and my non dancing husband danced at the Garner Dance for my sweet Sydney❤️My heart so heavy as all we really wanted was to be watching her instead of dancing for her. It was a trip filled with old and new and for me teenage boys instead of teenage girls. I laughter I smiled..I hurt..I cried..I wished..I prayed..and I fought hard to be and do everything she would want me to do and enjoy as much as I could even though with every beat of my heart there was an ache and emptiness that rushes over every part of you but she never failed to let us know she was there loving us and encourage us ..we saw bluebonnets on the drive lady bugs and rolly pollies at the shelter indentions in rocks shaped liked hearts sun rays in our pictures and some heart shaped clouds when we hit the top of old baldy❤️
Cameron Jackson and Connor at The Dance
The whole crew!
Dancing for Sydney👼🏻
There is no better way to KNOW God then to see him work through someone’s life..The beauty of God’s faithfulness
There seems to be a lot of talk about our belief but is there actually proof in our lives that we do actually believe. Our own thoughts about our self or the burdens life has poured upon us, keep us beat down and hesitant to go where God is asking us to go. It never fails that on my weakest days God gives me something too hard for me..Most days I immediately think (and even ask him) why me God there is a whole world filled with people…so why me.. I’m weak I’m broken I’m hurting, and ultimately unfixable..how am I suppose to help someone else when I feel like I’m the one needing help. It is then that my belief comes into play..the bible is filled with verses stating with God all things are possible. Do I believe it? Do I believe that I’m included in the “all” because if I do then it doesn’t matter what I feel it only matters what I do once my belief is there then I step forward in faith. It’s the ability to step out in faith that actually proves what we believe. Most of the time this just happen..You don’t actually make the decision to believe and then step.. you simply allow yourself to spin in the potters hands and it isn’t until he’s done that you realize the beauty he created through your life. You see Sydney didn’t believe she had led a life capable of leaving a legacy for God. I know this because she wrote out a prayer that is included in her book (I’ve attached it). This prayer was written sometime after May 23, 2013 because it’s a prayer from a book that she had me purchase that day. I’m pointing this out to show others how absolutely faithful and big God is..It’s interesting how you notice things as you study them..what I notice in this prayer is two things..one she didn’t believe she had lived a life to glorify God but then she says..I will stand on your promise that you will make something beautiful out of my brokenness and she asked him to help her live out the rest of her days to bring glory to him..The rest of her days..which she couldn’t have possibly know would only be 48..just 48 short days..but in those 48 short days..God used her life and made something beautiful out of her brokenness., and because she stood on the promises of God and because she trusted him..He used her to prove his faithfulness. I want to point out one more time what she wrote in that prayer and follow it with scripture…She wrote I will stand on your promise that you will make something beautiful out of my brokenness..and scripture says Isaiah 49:23 “She who trusts in the Lord will never be disappointed.” And Luke 1:45 Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her..As of today we have shared 123 of Sydney’s books filled with scripture and God’s truth. In 48 short days he truly blessed her with A Legacy of a Lifetime! So the next time you feel like you can’t do what God’s asking you to do or maybe you feel like your too broken stand firm in your belief of scripture and remember Sydney and how God was faithful and created beauty out of what she saw as brokenness
Erin’s Dream Race
As my alarm went off this morning I knew my day would be filled with memories of one of the most amazing girls I’ve ever met. Memories of her passion on the soccer field her intelligence and sencerity and mostly her joy for life. The memories of course don’t stop there..I remembered Sydney’s time spent with Erin and the affect that Erin’s life had on her. After Sydney ran her first 5k (the Amarillo Dash) on March 7, 2010 she began talking to me about how she wished someone would start a 5k memory run in Erin’s honor. Erin had lost her battle with Neuroblastoma in April of 2009. Throughout the next 3 years she continued to bring up her desires to do a 5k for Erin. Even though time passed Erin never left Sydney’s heart. In high school her electives followed a health track and after Sydney’s accident I found in her school papers where she had a couple of writing prompts one about if she was given 100,000 what she would do with it and another if she could cure any disease what would she choose. In both cases one written Oct 11, 2011 and one written Oct 13, 2011 she mentioned Research for Neutoblastoma the specific cancer that her friend died from. When I heard last year about Erin’s Dream Race I couldn’t help but think about how happy Sydney would have been that Erin’s life and efforts towards cancer research would be honored..and of course tears fell as I knew she wouldn’t get to be a part of it. So for the second year, Stacy Cameron and I attended hoping that the Buenger’s feel not only the love we have for Erin but the love Sydney had for her as well. Today while we were walking I imagined Erin and Sydney together laughing, and watching as Erin’s life continues to help others by raising awareness and money for childhood cancer research. What an honor to know and love her! I’m including pictures from today and Sydney’s writings. We’ve also been blessed to walk with one of Sydney and Erin’s friends (Lindsey Mitchell) these last two years. She’s a beautiful example of how true love never dies!
Video 3rd Annual Sydney L. Jeter Memorial Soccer Game
Again I am overwhelmed and blown away by the support and love this community continues to show to Sydney and our family. This year as I sat in the stands I was surrounded by parents who had no child on the field, but they were there to support the Lady Tiger Soccer team and Coaches as they continue to play a memorial game in honor of Sydney and what her life meant to the A&M Consolidated Lady Tiger Soccer Program. When I lost Sydney I had in my mind the people I thought would walk next to us, but as time moves on I’ve realized the people you thought would never leave..do..but then you are overwhelmed when you realized the people who step in..unafraid to stand next to you..cry with you..and most importantly share stories and pictures with you. The soccer community whether competitive league or high school has given more than I ever imagined. People often say competitive soccer is about making money..I am proof it is not..I believe almost all of Sydney’s competitive coaches not only came to her funeral but were there for the 1st memorial game (7 months after the accident) and a few consistently at EVERYONE of them..this is above and beyond what someone would do if it was about making money. This is what you do when you are part of a family and that is how the soccer community makes me feel..like we are forever part of their family. I know Sydney feels all the love the soccer community has shown her and I’m so grateful to be a part of such an amazing family⚽️
Nothing will ever come between us..I’ll be standing right next to you!
Today is 2 1/2 yrs..2 1/2 yrs since I got to wrap my arms around her and hug her..There’s never a second of the day I’m not thinking about and missing her. I wish so badly that knowing she’s standing right next to me could some how satisfy my aching heart but my flesh will never be satisfied until the day we are reunited with her again. Until then I will fix my eyes and heart on God and live my life honoring her every step of the way. Forever loving and missing you Sydney Lisa Jeter
I hope the angels know what they have
One of my favorite I love you Sydney. Forever my #missablekindofgirl
Friends and teammates who started “Play for Jeter” come to play with her brother
Again…the soccer community goes above and beyond to walk beside our family..this time stepping in and on the field to play some soccer with Cameron..You see out of all the projects people have started “Play for Jeter” is one that Cameron has the desire and opportunity to pick up and be a part of..He has attended two Play for Jeter memorial games but has never had the opportunity to “Play” with her teammates and friends..I can’t think of a better way to support him then for some of her original teammates who started the project “Play For Jeter” and some of the young men that knew her, giving their time to step on the field and play soccer with him and a few of his teammates..What a beautiful gift it is for not only Sydney to have been a part of this soccer community but Cameron as well. Much respect and appreciation for all of these people
I wanted to include the names of all the people who showed up to play with Cameron:
Back row left to right: Cade Williams, Tucker Simms, Kylan Lewis, Daniel Zivney, David Gan, Alex Acton, Oscar Cameron Jeter, Shane Grant, Allen Aldape, Jack Edner..front row-Alex OCampo, Carlos Espina, Maddie Wilke, Megan Lewis, Callie Walton, Alex Stewart, and Sammy McKenzie
Relieved it’s over
I have never been more relieved for a season to be over than I am for Thanksgiving and Christmas to finally be through. The last two months have felt like a slow steady torture to my heart and soul. The mental and spiritual battle has been exhausting as I wrestled with hating a day but loving so deeply the reason for it..I continued to battle my feelings of devastation by thinking about how thankful I am for Jesus, his birth and the sacrifice he made for me..Unfortunately as I was forced to go out and participate in buying presents..I didn’t feel the love of God around me..I felt the commercialization and excessive buying..the feeling of ppl buying happiness instead of giving gifts that are filled with personal meaning and thought..this only magnified the emptiness and lost feelings I was wanting so badly to avoid as my happiness can’t be found in something bought but instead in the love and memories I’ve made..Thoughts constantly running through my mind about how much would be missing from our tree and the inability to fill it..Wanting desperately to find the joy everyone is praying for us to find but understanding that is not where God has me right now..I’m not throwing a pity party Im not dwelling on her loss..I’m missing her..who she was and the sheer enjoyment she brought to our lives..I noticed Cameron was also looking for her and for a way to include her..it was his idea to take pictures with her cross..Stacy had put all his gifts together but noticed two were missing..one a bible similar to Sydney’s I later found beside his bed and the other a personalized soccer ball he carried around with him that says “PlayForJeter”❤️It does make me feel a little joy knowing that he too finds his happiness in gifts that were not the most expensive by monetary means but priceless to him because of the love and meaning attached. So I’m relieved to no longer struggle with wrestling spiritually with the over overindulgence of Christmas surrounding me and constantly feeling pressure to find joy in something that makes me feel so awful.
Play for Jeter featuring Derrick Dick Cat to Tiger to Roadrunner
I never knew when I took Sydney to her first middle school football game the adventure ahead of us. She was a soccer player and my son was too small to be playing so of course I had no idea I would be sitting in the stands week after week but Sydney and I feel in love with watching the boys her age play so passionately. I’m so thankful for all the memories we made traveling to and from games. After the accident I wasn’t quite sure if and how I belonged anymore. My son still too small to be a part, and my daughter no longer here…My heart wanted to be where we had planned to be together but I didn’t want to make people uncomfortable. That is where this young man stepped in..He not only carried Sydney’s memory as he played but he texted me before games and made sure I felt welcome and always found my family after every game making us feel a part of something I no longer knew how to be a part of..He was never too uncomfortable..never too upset..never too popular..and never too busy. As soon as the Soccer community began promoting “PlayForJeter” bracelets he not only asked me for one but told me he would continue to play for her..even as he transitioned from High school football into College Football at UTSA. Many things have changed over the last two years and many people have faded away..So trust me when I say there is NOTHING that lifts a broken mothers heart more than someone who continues to walk beside you when you know they have so many other choices. His heart is as special as his talent. He is always interacting with the younger generation inspiring them to never give up on their dreams and always seems to keep an eye out for the less fortunate offering his support. He helped us pick out and pick up our Christmas tree last year because we didn’t have a truck to get it home and continues to watch out for and be a part of Cameron’s life. I can not thank him enough for all he has done for not only Sydney but my family. I have included some of my favorite pics of him (wearing the blue “PlayForJeter” bracelet)..some pics of him and Sydney and a pic I edited of them together..I still believe she is one of his biggest fans!!
A Legacy of a Lifetime 