Tag Archives: anniversary of a child’s death

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12 yrs seems impossible

. Grief its Real . , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

12 years seems impossible but yet I’ve felt every second of everyday. You just don’t get to ignore seconds filled with heartache and there is nothing that can change it, or take it away.  How I respond is up to me. I can sit in the depths of it, allow it to press so hard on my heart that I feel it physically and it literally hurts to breathe. I can allow my mind to focus on the loss and devastation thinking only about what was taken, and what I lost. After 12 years I can only imagine where she would be and what she would be doing. The milestones I’ve watched Cameron accomplish that she never got the opportunity to. The milestones her friends have made, real jobs, engagement, marriage, having babies,  oh how easy it would be to just focus on how brutal and unfair life is.  I’m not going to lie..every grieving parents goes to those places and probably even each day. It’s impossible not to, but I have chosen to lean into God  and focus on Jesus trying my best to live my life from his example. When it was hard for him he prayed and continued carrying his cross for the greater good, his greater good was the gift that allows me to focus on something positive. The fact that Sydney isn’t lost, because of Jesus 12 years ago she was given the most beautiful gift beginning her eternal life with God in heaven. What I’ve experienced the last twelve years and every year still to come isn’t permanent, it’s temporary, because as David said in the scriptures about his sweet baby “I will go to him but he will not return to me”.  I have chosen my focus to be on the only true healing for a grieving parent. God his love, his peace, and his promises. I chose to focus on the future and build on what will be permanent and eternal. I want to make sure that “when I go to her” I have left this world remembering the amazing gift her life is, what she wanted to be remember for (a disciple of Jesus), and that she not only wanted you to know him as well but in her own writings..she says it is worth giving up everything for God. As I sit knowing Sydney is in heaven I can’t help but think how true her words are..everything this world has to offer that we can give up is NOTHING compared to eternity with God and all those that loved God. 

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I can only imagine

. Getting to Know Sydney, Grief its Real . , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m not sure if anyone else has done this but I think a lot about the moment Sydney met Jesus which in a few short hours will be exactly 5 yrs ago. I can only imagine the peace he brought to her after being thrashed around. It’s a blessing for me to know that she didn’t have long before the accident began and she was standing present before The Lord perfectly new with not one single injury. Healed in a way we think and try to understand but can not. Her life upon earth may have ended at that moment but her real life was just beginning. As much as I’d like to think she stayed around the accident watching us, worried about us and how we would make it, like the movies would show..I know she didn’t. Instead she was standing with The Prince of Peace, she was not holding on to Bible versus..she was experiencing him personally. Can you imagine the amount of love she felt at that moment. Anyone who knew Sydney knew all she ever wanted in this life was to be loved. She loved others so deeply because that’s how she wanted to be loved and at this moment she would no longer have to try and get that from broken people who were incapable of providing it. No more heartbreak or heartache because God’s love is perfect. Her hearts desire truly standing right before her offering his hand however I’m sure she probably talked him into giving her a piggyback ride💞I find peace in knowing she is free from the pain and heartache of this world and at the same time ache to the depths of my soul because I want so badly to share in these moments as I know her smile and laughter would be far greater than what she experienced here. So thankful for God’s promises and the sacrifice of Jesus. I can’t wait to join her and sit as she tells me the real story of when she met Jesus because I’m positive my imagination and thoughts can not come close to the truth of her actual experience but I find peace knowing it wouldn’t be less than my imagination but instead abundantly more!

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How to manage the year anniversary of losing our child

. Grief its Real . , , , , , ,

Stacy and I have been thinking about what to do knowing that it will be one year July10th..We want to honor Sydney Lisa Jeter but also help ourselves walk through this day without completely losing it..Being alone is not the answer..being with family…well they are hurting too so we sit and cry together..We find healing when we do the things she did with people that loved her..so we decided to do what Sydney would be doing on that day..but we need your help..we are opening our house up that day for anyone and everyone that wants to stop by swim, share memories, distract us, and visit..stay all day, stay a few hours, or stay 5 minutes..what ever is best for you..we are inviting anyone that knew Sydney or knew of Sydney..if her smile ever touched your life (even if only through a picture) you are welcome..Don’t come alone..Sydney did nothing alone..bring a friend maybe two even more just whatever works for you..our house will be open and ready..Sydney’s writings have been organized and placed in a book for all to see. Please come help us remember and see the legacy Sydney left in this world.