Tag Archives: focus on God

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Are you in the middle?

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I used to think that bad things didn’t happen to good people..when I look back now I can see I felt that way because I was only processing the part of the bible I wanted to..When I thought about Daniel and the lions den I thought about his victory and survival. I paid attention to the beginning and the end but not the middle. I see now that God unveiled his faithfulness to others at the end but in the middle is where God is personally at work and proves his faithfulness to you. The middle is where we experience God in ways that allow us to see things differently and grow closer to him. The middle is where without God you can’t survive..The middle doesn’t feel good and it isn’t comfortable..the middle is where the potter’s pottery is spinning and the shape is changing and if you continue to stay in the potters hands the middle is where that crazy piece of clay that looks messy and disfigured is spun into something beautiful. Without the middle you’re just a piece of clay but after going through the middle you look different to the world. That’s when they can see God’s work within you. If your in the middle trust and know that the middle is where you get to meet God personally🙏🏻

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What I used to love I now almost hate

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Halloween used to provide so much excitement and happiness for our family. It was one of the holidays we looked forward to..I would have easily said I loved Halloween but now it provides so much pain and emptiness. The last two years we stayed home not really participating in the holiday so when Cameron wanted to join our friends and their family for Halloween I was excited and happy but as the days got closer the emptiness seemed to be continually moving in on me. I will say I fought hard and am very grateful that I got to see my son participate in Halloween for the first time since his sister’s accident. I will never feel the same about Halloween..it takes everything in me not to hate it. It is so hard to continue living for Cameron when I’m dying inside. I couldn’t have made it with out two of my amazing friends who are willing to let us be a part of their families celebration no matter how broken or how bad I’m hurting. Life doesn’t stop and you truly never realize how many holidays there are until they provide pain instead of joy. Thankful God has blessed us with amazing friends who aren’t scared of tears and are willing to love and include us no matter what..

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Thoughts about Sydney’s mission statement

. Getting to Know Sydney . , , , , , ,

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Sydney’s mission statement. I’ve shared it before as it was in the flyer we handed out at her funeral. It is not necessarily the words that have been consuming my thoughts, but rather the actions she took after she wrote the words..You see what prompted her to write a mission statement in the first place is the book she was reading (Your Hearts Desire by Sheri Rose Shepherd) She didn’t just read the book and move on..she stopped prayed and thought deeply about her hearts desires, found a sticky note and put her hearts mission into words. For some reason my mind doesn’t let me stop here..why? I guess because she didn’t stop there..she didn’t write those words for others..she didn’t write it and post it..actually I found no post that she made referencing her mission statement. So then why did she write it? I keep thinking about that and as I’ve thought about it I’ve learned as much from wondering why she wrote it than I have from the words she wrote..I believe that when I typed her mission statement out..I in a way took away from the beauty of it..So I’m attaching a picture of the original post it note and where she placed it (it’s still in the exact same place today) I believe that it answers the question as to why she wrote it..She wrote it for herself, so that as she got up and faced each day she would be reminded of “her mission”. Sydney placed this sticky note on her mirror because she realized that seeing too much of yourself causes you to lose focus on God and the purpose and mission for your life..She wanted to make sure that when she looked in the mirror she didn’t forget what her life was about. What I find most beautiful is that she wasn’t fooled into thinking it would be easy or that she wouldn’t face temptation or distraction and took the steps necessary to help overcome them in the future by placing this in the one place she knew she would look everyday. I continue to learn each day from the things she wrote and the things she did and consider it a blessing to be a part of sharing her faith and legacy with others. Thank you my sweet girl for leaving me so much of your heart.

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She continues to touch people lives

. Getting to Know Sydney, Grief its Real . , , , , , , , , , , ,

I believe that God is at work every day around us. He is constantly pursuing us and desperately wants us to put our own selfish desires down and follow him. I do not believe he has a check list with certain things for me and checks them off and when I’m done its my time for Heaven. I do believe that he has many things for me to do..but I have a choice..honestly we miss the opportunity to join and share God often so there would be unchecked things on our list..it doesn’t end there..he continues to give many opportunities to join him..I wake up hurting and missing Sydney..there will never be words to describe how badly I want to be with her or see her..something I am promised will happen at some point..until then I am here because God put me here..not for me but for him..Through my pain and suffering..people I loved have left and walked away from us..some even persecuting and lying about us and Sydney..breaking our hearts and causing us greater and deeper pain..but God is greater than any of that..yes it hurt and will continue to hurt..but as people stepped away..God brought others forward..people that didn’t even know Sydney..KNOW her now..I get to share my daughters words about God to help and encourage others her age to keep fighting the good fight..the beauty is..I even have it in her hand writing. What a gift God left me but what I’ve realized..he didn’t just leave it to calm my heart or protect her legacy..He left it for me to share with others. She is still living and touching people’s lives. Every time I try to bless someone else by sharing her story, her words, her favorite verses, the books that helped transform her heart..it BLESSES me. I get to see God and a piece of her shine through them. The same bright light that shined through her smile wasn’t dimmed by the lies or betrayal..by the hurt..because that light was LOVE! Thank you Sydney Lisa Jeter for following God when he pursued you for showing me that having God in my life isn’t enough if I’m not sharing him. I love you forever and always!

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Sharing the love that filled our house on the year anniversary

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I wanted to stop by and share a little of the love that filled our house on the 10th. I know that most everyone did not actually hear of the accident until the the morning of July 11th but Sydney Lisa Jeter did actually leave us before midnight on the 10th. We spent the day on the 10th doing exactly what she would have or was doing the year before and I am so greatful and thankful for everyone that came out to help us. It was a true blessing to have people walking in and out all day long, kids playing in the pool laughing, meeting people that knew her that I didn’t know and hearing their stories of how they met her and what she meant to them, sharing the legacy God had her leave that showed her heart and soul they last two months of her life, showing people how important it was to her to separate from people and things that were pulling her away from honoring God, and the best part of the day was seeing that people were willing a year later to show up and respect and honor her. I felt the love they had for her and it touched me to my very core. For the Moms and Dads that’s children came please know I was complemented over and over by the adults here about how respectful and considerate the young adults and kids were. I cried less this day than I have any other day thanks to all who loved her in a positive way..protecting, honoring, remembering, sharing, and carrying her memory with them. I tried to take pictures with people that came by, but there was so many people..that I missed getting pictures with some very special people. Please know I am thankful for each and everyone of you that showed up, messaged me, tweeted me, or texted me whether I have a picture of you or not..you were a light shining on me! This is a journey that is never ending as the next two days mark a year from the visitation and her funeral but everyday I suffer missing such an amazingly beautiful soul that meant the world to me. We appreciate all those who have continue praying for our family.

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Colossians 3:2

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Colossians 3:2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth!! Life isn’t about what you accumulate this side of heaven..Its about what you accumulate FOR ETERNITY! Luke 1:45 Blessed is she who believed that The Lord would fulfill his promises to her. Miss you always and forever Sydney!
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God’s not Dead…Love and miss you Sydney Lisa Jeter

. Getting to Know Sydney, Grief its Real . , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m just a little different when it comes to sharing messages..I don’t just want to speak something to someone I want them to understand..get it..feel it..God’s not Dead was a very good movie but very emotional for me..I already had an extremely hard time at church crying the whole way through worship..because not only do I miss Sydney more than anything..I know she’s happy and experiencing for real every word we sing..then emotionally heart broken we head to the movie..I had never even seen a preview..So many little messages through out that movie for us..first off..sometimes the answer is NO..boy this one hurts..we didn’t want our answer to be no..We knew something was wrong that night..she was never late and always stayed in communication with me so when I left to go look for her..Stacy was on his knees in the front yard praying to God “please let her be ok”..I was praying the same prayer as I was driving out to go look for her..our answer was No..I do not believe that God took her that night..But I do believe he allowed free will..and the decisions made..did take her that night..her work was not finished..but God worked through Sydney’s life and will work through her death..the messages he had her leave for us to find..the post she shared on Instagram and Facebook..are there for others to see..to see how her heart changed that last year..I believe I also saw this message through the movie..God knows our life..our story has been written..he knows we have free will but never gives up..every time you are tempted by selfish desires..God has also provided a way out..the teacher had his mom speaking truth..when he rejected God didnt give up..he sent someone else a student/girlfriend to love and plant seeds..he still rejected..but God still loved so he sent the student who would end up debating w/him who also planted seeds..but still rejecting..God didn’t give up..he continued sending people into his life..God never gives up on us knowing we may never accept..THANK YOU GOD..you see he didn’t give up on my baby either..as she was struggling he continued to send ppl into her life to speak truth..she grabbed on several times but would get sucked back into the world a few times but the last time..The Holy Spirit was so strong..she understood..she grabbed on..changing everything about herself..she deleted her twitter, changed the music she listened to..she was pulling away from people that were bad influences, reaching out an offering forgiveness, she used her social media to share Gods message to try and save people from the lies Satan tells them..it was beautiful and I was blessed to have been able to witness such a powerful change..all this because God never gave up on her..he continued to send OBEDIENT ppl into her life..she always had a choice to walk away..Thank God her last choice was to whole heartedly give every bit of her life to such an amazing God..So I will end by asking you..which person are you going to be in this life..the one that speaks against God..the one that lives for the world and just signs a piece of paper to make their life easy or the one who will chose to be obedient, and live so that God can use you..you might just be the last truth someone hears..Thank you to every obedient Christian who walked through my daughters life..You allowed God to use your life because you lived for him and not yourself and Thank you to my beautiful girl Sydney Lisa Jeter God is still working good through your obedience what a beautiful legacy you left..I miss you!10245524_781787401833829_5035193812345732533_n

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Nine months..I can’t believe it

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Nine months today..I can’t believe it..9 months ago I got the worst news of my life..months keep passing whether I want them to or not..Each day is another day further away from the last time I hugged her or heard her voice..I knew I wasn’t going to be okay so in the last 9 months I’ve went to two different grief groups and a retreat for moms who have lost a child..I’ve had ppl tell me(with good intentions) that maybe some medicine would help me..I’m looking for the answer..the fix..the cure..so I can love my life again..Reality is I’m not..and that is OK..I’m not suppose to love this world..I’m suppose to feel like I don’t belong here..God has me exactly where Im suppose to be..living and longing for something better than what this world has to offer..I hate it..I didn’t want to learn this lesson like this..I WANT MY BABY BACK! I don’t even know how I got where I am..I just keep waking up and time keeps passing..I keep praying and God keeps giving me strength..I know my reward will come and that gives me so much hope but it in no way takes away any of the pain I feel every second of everyday I live without her..Thank you to everyone who continues to pray, continues to carry us when we can’t seem to stand, for all the new moms I met that are walking this horrible nightmare, all the amazing soccer girls who played and continue to “PlayforJeter” words can not describe how much every little thing means to us! Always and forever Sydney Lisa Jeter
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The first never stop

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Haven’t posted since before spring break. Good news is we made it through a few more first without her, not without tears and heartache that is indescribable. But for whatever reason we continue to deal with new issues that continually add to our heartache. I was going to post in detail about it..but its not the time..lets just say its pretty unbelievable what people are capable of doing..not just to us or her memory..but to themselves..I wish I could just hate them but in the end my heart breaks because I know they will regret every bit of what they are doing. It is going to eat them up inside one day..The things they are chosing to do not only hurt us and her memory but is going to destroy them when they are older and realize they can’t undo some of the things they have done. I’m not sure when it will be enough, but we are weak, broken, and just want the pain to end. I sat on her floor yesterday and just screamed and cried most of the day..if only that would bring her back..I do have moments of happiness but so far they are short moments away from the pain that eats away at you from the inside..I’m trying to continue to live and I know she wouldn’t want me to be this broken, but no matter how hard I try it doesn’t happen..I still cry and miss her..I’ve accomplished a lot and continued with life but it seems so empty sometimes..Ive learned the only thing that takes a little sting off the pain is to remember her, keep people around that enjoyed her life and want to talk about her, people that cherish the things and memories she gave them as much as we do. I have been blessed with a few of her friends that include us in their lives…I’m not sure anyone can understand how much that means..I was so connected to Sydney and her life..I did everything with her she can never be replaced but for kids her age to take the time and spend and hangout with a Mom so that I can still feel included in the life of a teenager…It might sound stupid but it helps because a piece of her lives in them..some of them have a similar personality to Sydney and I feel her through them and smiling and laughing with them..The pain doesn’t stop but neither does God..he can’t take away our pain but he gives us enough of what we need to stay focused on him, and make it through another da, hopefully showing others nothing is impossible with God..He carries us when we are too weak to walk ourselves..I can not image this horrible journey without him…He is our only hope

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Missing her no matter where we are

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The last several months we have learned..we miss her no matter where we are the grocery store, the house, the mall, the beach, the truth is we miss her every second..we’ve also learned that nothing takes away the pain so we can’t avoid people, places, or things..being with the people she loved, doing the things she loved, in the places she loved is some of the closet moments we have with her so we are leaving tomorrow to head to the Frio River/Garner State Park for spring break carrying our girl every second with us in our hearts because it is impossible for us to do anything without her..we can not live life without thinking about her or wanting to see and hear her enjoying this life with us..she is forever connected to our souls and she lives forever deep within us..that will never be enough for my aching heart but its impossible for me to have it any other way..because if you could die from a broken heartđź’” I wouldn’t be alive and if love could have saved her..she wouldn’t have died🙏