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Happy Valentine’s Day Sydney Lisa Jeter

Happy Valentine’s Day Sydney Lisa Jeter No way was I gonna let you go without flowers on Valentine’s Day💞so I made this arrangement with the help of an amazing friend at Petal Patch. I was volunteering to help her and had ordered Sydney’s arrangement when she said why don’t you make it for her..and here it is…I think its perfect..Red Roses to represent her ultimate beauty, white carnations to symbolize her elegance, and the popping yellow daisies to capture her amazing personality that shines so bright on everyone she loved..and the final touch a lady bug to symbolize her protection and love for her family and ability to want to stand up for those that deserved it..I miss my baby girl so much..I live life with a whole right in the center of my heart and soul. All I can do is make her flowers I can’t hug her kiss her or spend time talking to her😢👼but never not for a second does my mind ever rest from thinking and praying she were still here. I know she had the best valentines day ever though because her Valentine was not a human man that can let you down but the ONE TRUE PRINCE Jesus! Forever missing you Sydney…Love you sweet pea!
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Dealing with grief along with lies and betrayal..thanks to those who helped us

I haven’t posted in a while and to be honest I just haven’t been able to..Our lives have been ripped apart again as we walk through the pains of losing Sydney. It is unbelievable what we have had to walk through and the damage done to the hearts of so many that should be focused on grieving Sydney instead of dealing with lies, and betrayals towards Sydney her family and her true friends. I have used Facebook as a healing tool for me to share my deepest emotions not only to rid them from my mind but hopefully help others understand the depth of pain that until you experience it..is unimaginable. I had to stop my healing process and instead attend to what I was being dealt. I could have come screaming to Facebook about my injustice, pointing fingers, and attacking those who have done these disgusting, horrible things to my daughter’s memory and my family but I didn’t…I stopped gathered with my husband cried, prayed and asked others for Godly advice and guidance. That my friends is an extremely hard thing to do when you daughters memory is being attacked and disrespected all by people who say they love her…It has been a long painful road but we have walked it with God right beside us every step of the way. He has never once left us or not provided the Godly answer we needed. I have never been more proud of my husband and his strength through this journey. Yesterday marked 7 months my baby girl has been gone…I for the first time was able to be unselfish and could feel happy that she wasn’t here going through the pains her father, true friends and myself have…she sat next to Jesus with no tears no pain and not having to feel that betrayal…because I know the only thing that could hurt worse then the pain I feel is to have to watch her endure it. Thank you God for protecting her and keeping her safe from that pain…she deserves non of what has happened…she loved people with everything she had…and always saw the best in people even when they didn’t deserve it because she knew at one point in her life she didn’t deserve the love of God but he loved her anyway…Her spirit was amazing and I will forever be blessed to have been her mom. Friday night the community gathered to honor my daughter at the crosstown showdown Consol vs Bryan soccer game. It was beautiful and helped remind us that although what we are dealing with is hard, hurtful, and real…it is just a very small portion of the community..and that showed on Friday when her soccer teammates from Rec, club, and school, the soccer community, her family, and her best friends their with her family showed up and made the most beautiful ceremony. Thank you everyone that has prayed, stood with us, and most importantly truly loved our daughter. I am and will always be Greatful!

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When a part of you is missing

Do you realize how hard it is to smile, to laugh, to find a desire to want to live the next day when a part of you is missing? I’m off balance, I’m in constant pain that is never ending. The fact that I smile throughout the days or smile through tears is not from me..I’m incapable of surviving the loss of Sydney..I loved her so much..I’m not okay with not seeing her again or worshiping next to her in church or watching her love God through this screwed up world. No matter what I feel or go through or how bad I want to give up..at the end of the day I find my strength because I do honestly believe deep down in my soul that God is Lord and knows what is best. I put my trust in him that as much as I’m suffering he knew what was best so even though I haven’t gotten what I wanted in this world I will no doubt be given all my hearts desires through God when it is time. So I’m able to survive my struggles, tears, and pain because of my true belief in God. It is through him and his promises that I have a hope of something better than the pains of this world. I still can’t believe I have to live this life without her..
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Life without your child is a constant struggle

I want to be able to post how well we are doing and how we are managing life without her better then we were but truth is we are still suffering and struggling every second. Our life has changed so much and in a way we never wanted. I don’t believe that I took her for granted because I’m not sure I could have loved her or done anything more with her than I did but I didn’t realize that I talked to her about everything not just in her life but in mine. I miss having a daughter and having the love that a daughter gives her mom. Its also soccer season and its killing me inside that I’m not able to watch her play. The entire time she played soccer I missed very few games ever and I even watched most of her practices I loved watching her play. I’m so jealous that she isn’t out there with everyone else..I know it isn’t a good feeling but I’m not trying to be perfect I’m trying to be honest. Our life is emotionally exhausting. We started a new bible study tonight and when introductions started they included your family…Stacy looks at me and says what do we do? He really didn’t have to worry because I was going before him so it was up to me. I mean what do you do? I can’t just say I’m the parent of a 12 years old boy because I was the mom of 2 kids and I will always be her mom and she is forever a part of our family. Its hard because you don’t want to make people sad but she is a part of us forever. I guess we will forever be experiencing new situations and will try our best to get through them.

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Starting a new year..reminding others what was important to Sydney Lisa Jeter

I haven’t posted since the New Year started. Honestly I guess I don’t want to admit that I had to start a year without her. Today marks 6 months that she has been gone. Thats half a year. The feelings are unexplainable as it seems like just yesterday I was sitting on the side of the road in the pitch dark with red blue and white lights flashing all around me being told she was gone but also forever since I’ve gotten to hear her or hug her. Memories and pictures feel like they just happened. I remember them like it was yesterday. The only explanation I can give to our survival is that we have leaned on and kept God close every second of everyday. We try very hard to stay focused on his will, his love, and his forgiveness so that the what ifs don’t rip us to pieces. I chose this picture as my first picture because I want to remind everyone what was important to her. She wrote this for herself as none of us knew about it until it was found in her bible the day everyone was told of the accident. She wrote it after doing a bible study from a book so I know she had to have written it sometime after May 18th when I purchased the book. Not even 2 months before she left us. Every time I read this I have to tell myself she was only 16 yrs old. She didn’t ask to be remembered for her beauty, what clothes she had, how popular she was, or pushing the limits of life. She wanted to leave a legacy that was honoring and pleasing to God. As we struggle through this life without her We stay focused on Gods promises as he holds her with him until we are blessed with seeing her again! Missing and remembering how blessed we were is the new normal for our family. Thank you to everyone who continues to pray for us.

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Happy Birthday Jesus!!

Happy Birthday Jesus I can only imagine how happy my baby girl is to be with you on your birthday. This picture was taken a year ago today. My last Christmas with my amazingly beautiful daughter. I know she is perfectly happy and that she wants nothing but for us to be happy. We try our best to stay encouraged and focus on Gods love for us and her. The pain of missing her isn’t something I can pretend doesn’t exist. Especially on a day like today. I can take pictures smile and act as though we are a whole family but we are forever missing a vital part of what made us who we are. If I could just have a little window into heaven and see her I think it would help because part of my happiness came from making her happy. I know God knows my heart and that he continues to put people in our lives to encourage us and to help us walk through this life without her. Everyone of you are an answered prayer for us and we know we are blessed. When we go out to visit Sydney and find beautiful flowers and notes to her it allows us to see the love others had for her and how much she touched others lives. Thank you all for remembering her and our family. We want everyone to remember the reason we are celebrating today because our Savior was born..again Happy Birthday Jesus and Merry Christmas to all our friends and family.
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This time last year

This time last year I was running around trying to finish Christmas shopping and getting everything together so our family would have an amazing Holiday…this year I’m terrified…terrified what tomorrow is going to feel like for me and my family. God please we can’t take much more pain. I beg you to intercede and protect our hearts…there is no possible way to avoid the emptiness we will feel tomorrow without my baby girl waking up in the morning and picking on us, filling the house with laughter, baking cookies with my mom, calling her Dado her Christmas miracle. I just want to wake up in the morning and find my precious Sydney Lisa Jeter in her room.