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How to manage the year anniversary of losing our child

Stacy and I have been thinking about what to do knowing that it will be one year July10th..We want to honor Sydney Lisa Jeter but also help ourselves walk through this day without completely losing it..Being alone is not the answer..being with family…well they are hurting too so we sit and cry together..We find healing when we do the things she did with people that loved her..so we decided to do what Sydney would be doing on that day..but we need your help..we are opening our house up that day for anyone and everyone that wants to stop by swim, share memories, distract us, and visit..stay all day, stay a few hours, or stay 5 minutes..what ever is best for you..we are inviting anyone that knew Sydney or knew of Sydney..if her smile ever touched your life (even if only through a picture) you are welcome..Don’t come alone..Sydney did nothing alone..bring a friend maybe two even more just whatever works for you..our house will be open and ready..Sydney’s writings have been organized and placed in a book for all to see. Please come help us remember and see the legacy Sydney left in this world.

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Saying Happy Father’s Day for Sydney

We realize how blessed we are to have Cameron come in and say Happy Fathers Day. Today as everyone post pictures with their Dad celebrating..we are very aware that we are missing a piece of us..Sydney wouldn’t have hesitated to post a picture with her Dad telling him how much she appreciated and loved him..She isn’t here but I’m positive she would have wanted me to do it for her..I saw the way she loved her Daddy and I know she is so very proud of him as he walks through this..Anyone that knows Stacy knows the restraint he has shown he is not capable of on his own..do you realize how hard it is for a Dad to walk through everything we have walked through..His strength comes from God and his desire to make Sydney Lisa Jeter proud..She is forever with you Stacy Jeter and I know she is so very proud of you! Happy Fathers Day!

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The 10th rolls around again..my sweet girl…Sydney Lisa Jeter

Well here we are as the 10th rolls around again this time marking 11 month without her. It still feels like yesterday I was sitting on the street screaming NO however as much as my life has remained stuck in that moment others have moved on with life. Some here for us the first several months as the shock of losing someone they loved filled their heart with the desire to be close to her family as they needed closure. Some shockingly attacked a grieving family and Sydney’s memory with lies, and hatred. We tried desperately to look the other way, ignore, contact parents who refuse to either sit down with us or do what is necessary to actually parent a child and teach them appropriate behavior. I will never understand why on top of losing my daughter I’ve had to deal with such dishonor and disrespect by people who claimed to love her but obviously by their actions do not. When crying out to a friend I asked why God would allow the extra suffering when I was already barely breathing and she said I can not explain why your suffering continues or why evil people continue to plague you. I think the devil works overtime to try to turn you away. She said this tells me that something you are doing is hurting him and furthering the kingdom of God. I hope and pray that is true..that at least if I have to feel all this horrible pain and live knowing that people could disrespect someone as beautiful of a person as Sydney inside and out…that God’s kingdom would grow. It doesn’t make it easier to feel or go through, but my hearts desire is to Glorify God in all that I do..Now to the last group of people…the ones that realized that our family didn’t just need people in the first weeks and months..as Sydney isn’t just gone for that amount of time…she’s gone forever and helping us is a lifelong walk..It’s knowing we have a piece missing for the rest of our lives and offering to step in and fill the emptiness..its knowing Cameron misses having older kids around and continuing to show up and tell him how amazing his sister was or how much she loved and talked about him…It’s showing up and hanging out at the house to help fill the emptiness with laughter and craziness that left with her…we want to do things she loved with people that knew and loved her..Its knowing that by the time a grieving person reaches out for help they have sat in the depths of their darkness way too long. Please say her name, share your stories with us..let us know that the time we selflessly shared her with other people was worth it..don’t keep your memories hidden in your head or your heart…its a blessing when you share them with us and helps us make it until we see her again. 11 months is way too long without her and the more time moves the more these little things become big things. Thank you and God Bless everyone walking this journey with us.

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Memorial Day…I’m not BBQing

Today’s Memorial Day..I haven’t spent this weekend celebrating, drinking, or BBQing..for the first time I realize this weekend isn’t about a three day weekend..its about remembering those we’ve lost..honestly I remember every single day..my heart will never be the same..my life will never be the same..While so many I know are looking forward to graduation..Im forced to look forward to her headstone arriving..She had the most beautiful smile, a beautiful heart, was graduating a year early and still within the top 4% of her class..ppl often tell me she in a better place..yes she is..but she wasn’t in a bad place here..The most obvious thing about Sydney was that she brought out the BEST in others..she made doing the right things fun and exciting..she believed in you even when you didn’t deserve it..I’m forever missing her, forever loving her, and forever remembering her..because I simply can’t accept not having her a part of my life everyday @sydneylisa

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Mother’s Day..Play for Jeter..Cameron playing for Sydney

Today is Mothers Day and I’m missing Sydney. She was the one that made me a mom..my first born. The day you become a mom your whole life changes. You look into your babies eyes and you know your soul and heart are linked. A mothers desire is for nothing more than to help their child succeed and become the best they can be..I would have given up anything for my child. I didn’t carry around 400 dollar purses, I didn’t wear expensive clothes, didn’t have the most expensive cars, but I lived life and made all kind of memories with my kids..Just like your life changes the day your baby is born..your life will also change the minute you hear your child is gone. All your future dreams are shattered. Every single perfect memory is always missing something..its missing my baby girl..and I can never be okay with that EVER..God blessed me with two amazing children..two..and I was so proud of Cameron yesterday. He played his last soccer tournament of the season. I won’t steal his words you can read them for yourself as I’m attaching his Instagram post..I just couldn’t be more proud of him and I’m so thankful for the heart he has..our family has changed, his momma cries all the time, his Dad cries, he has also learned how awful a few people can be, they have hurt him also..but he continues to try and be the best he can be..and I realize how lucky I am to have such a sweet caring boy..His post brought tears to my eyes! We miss you Sydney Lisa JeterπŸ˜‡Always and forever! We will forever carry you with us! #PlayforJeter
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My first Mother’s Day without one of my kids

My first Mother’s Day without her..Today has been a constant reminder that Sydney isn’t here..I’ve cried most of the day..my heart and soul are bleeding and I don’t know how to stop it..so many people checked on me today, prayed for me and sent me text messages wishing me a happy Mother’s Day and I am more than blessed by everyone of them..one of Sydney’s friends came and got me and prayed with me at churchthe encouragement was not lost just because I’m still crying. Its what enabled me to take each breath when it hurts so badly to breath..I layed in Sydney’s room and cried myself to sleep then woke up and continued to cry..I miss her..My daughter wasn’t here to post a picture with me telling me how much she loved me..I didn’t get to post a picture, I didn’t get to hear her say Happy Mothers Day or Mommie I love you. A Day moms cherish so much has become the biggest realization that one of my babies is gone forever..but then I’ve got this precious boy that I’m so thankful for..his heart is like something I’ve never seen..he’s matured so much since that night..the bottom picture is the text that he sent me as he was getting into bed tonight..he included his sister in his message to me..that’s two days he’s shown how much he loves his sister and his mom and Dad..Thank you for all the prayers..I will always see more than clouds and a blue sky when I look up

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On top of my daughter’s death..we find her memories are being sold

A year ago today Sydney was so excited to give this very expensive pair of polarized sunglasses to Blake. They meant so much to him that on 2/26/14 at 9:12am only 7 months after she was killed he placed them and sold them on craigslist for 45 dollars..How heartbreaking to know her memories could be sold..I contacted the buyer to verify and try to recover them but he lost them in the lake just a week before..God leaves us an entire bible with lots of scripture..he says to forgive and offer grace..we did..he says to always speak truth..and we have..he says you will be persecuted for following me..Sydney and my family have been..but he also says Matthew 7:6 NIV “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces” God my prayer is that truth be revealed. I pray that you will please protect my daughters memory and her family and friends from the pigs you speak of who have turned around and attacked not only us but Sydney’s memory..God please let your Holy Spirit work good out of the evil that has been done and I ask others to continue to pray for our family as we walk through this raging storm that continues
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Colossians 3:2

Colossians 3:2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth!! Life isn’t about what you accumulate this side of heaven..Its about what you accumulate FOR ETERNITY! Luke 1:45 Blessed is she who believed that The Lord would fulfill his promises to her. Miss you always and forever Sydney!
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God’s not Dead…Love and miss you Sydney Lisa Jeter

I’m just a little different when it comes to sharing messages..I don’t just want to speak something to someone I want them to understand..get it..feel it..God’s not Dead was a very good movie but very emotional for me..I already had an extremely hard time at church crying the whole way through worship..because not only do I miss Sydney more than anything..I know she’s happy and experiencing for real every word we sing..then emotionally heart broken we head to the movie..I had never even seen a preview..So many little messages through out that movie for us..first off..sometimes the answer is NO..boy this one hurts..we didn’t want our answer to be no..We knew something was wrong that night..she was never late and always stayed in communication with me so when I left to go look for her..Stacy was on his knees in the front yard praying to God “please let her be ok”..I was praying the same prayer as I was driving out to go look for her..our answer was No..I do not believe that God took her that night..But I do believe he allowed free will..and the decisions made..did take her that night..her work was not finished..but God worked through Sydney’s life and will work through her death..the messages he had her leave for us to find..the post she shared on Instagram and Facebook..are there for others to see..to see how her heart changed that last year..I believe I also saw this message through the movie..God knows our life..our story has been written..he knows we have free will but never gives up..every time you are tempted by selfish desires..God has also provided a way out..the teacher had his mom speaking truth..when he rejected God didnt give up..he sent someone else a student/girlfriend to love and plant seeds..he still rejected..but God still loved so he sent the student who would end up debating w/him who also planted seeds..but still rejecting..God didn’t give up..he continued sending people into his life..God never gives up on us knowing we may never accept..THANK YOU GOD..you see he didn’t give up on my baby either..as she was struggling he continued to send ppl into her life to speak truth..she grabbed on several times but would get sucked back into the world a few times but the last time..The Holy Spirit was so strong..she understood..she grabbed on..changing everything about herself..she deleted her twitter, changed the music she listened to..she was pulling away from people that were bad influences, reaching out an offering forgiveness, she used her social media to share Gods message to try and save people from the lies Satan tells them..it was beautiful and I was blessed to have been able to witness such a powerful change..all this because God never gave up on her..he continued to send OBEDIENT ppl into her life..she always had a choice to walk away..Thank God her last choice was to whole heartedly give every bit of her life to such an amazing God..So I will end by asking you..which person are you going to be in this life..the one that speaks against God..the one that lives for the world and just signs a piece of paper to make their life easy or the one who will chose to be obedient, and live so that God can use you..you might just be the last truth someone hears..Thank you to every obedient Christian who walked through my daughters life..You allowed God to use your life because you lived for him and not yourself and Thank you to my beautiful girl Sydney Lisa Jeter God is still working good through your obedience what a beautiful legacy you left..I miss you!10245524_781787401833829_5035193812345732533_n