Tag Archives: Sydney Jeter

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Mother’s Day..Play for Jeter..Cameron playing for Sydney

. Grief its Real, Play for Jeter . , , , , , , , , ,

Today is Mothers Day and I’m missing Sydney. She was the one that made me a mom..my first born. The day you become a mom your whole life changes. You look into your babies eyes and you know your soul and heart are linked. A mothers desire is for nothing more than to help their child succeed and become the best they can be..I would have given up anything for my child. I didn’t carry around 400 dollar purses, I didn’t wear expensive clothes, didn’t have the most expensive cars, but I lived life and made all kind of memories with my kids..Just like your life changes the day your baby is born..your life will also change the minute you hear your child is gone. All your future dreams are shattered. Every single perfect memory is always missing something..its missing my baby girl..and I can never be okay with that EVER..God blessed me with two amazing children..two..and I was so proud of Cameron yesterday. He played his last soccer tournament of the season. I won’t steal his words you can read them for yourself as I’m attaching his Instagram post..I just couldn’t be more proud of him and I’m so thankful for the heart he has..our family has changed, his momma cries all the time, his Dad cries, he has also learned how awful a few people can be, they have hurt him also..but he continues to try and be the best he can be..and I realize how lucky I am to have such a sweet caring boy..His post brought tears to my eyes! We miss you Sydney Lisa Jeter😇Always and forever! We will forever carry you with us! #PlayforJeter
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My first Mother’s Day without one of my kids

. Grief its Real . , , , , , ,

My first Mother’s Day without her..Today has been a constant reminder that Sydney isn’t here..I’ve cried most of the day..my heart and soul are bleeding and I don’t know how to stop it..so many people checked on me today, prayed for me and sent me text messages wishing me a happy Mother’s Day and I am more than blessed by everyone of them..one of Sydney’s friends came and got me and prayed with me at churchthe encouragement was not lost just because I’m still crying. Its what enabled me to take each breath when it hurts so badly to breath..I layed in Sydney’s room and cried myself to sleep then woke up and continued to cry..I miss her..My daughter wasn’t here to post a picture with me telling me how much she loved me..I didn’t get to post a picture, I didn’t get to hear her say Happy Mothers Day or Mommie I love you. A Day moms cherish so much has become the biggest realization that one of my babies is gone forever..but then I’ve got this precious boy that I’m so thankful for..his heart is like something I’ve never seen..he’s matured so much since that night..the bottom picture is the text that he sent me as he was getting into bed tonight..he included his sister in his message to me..that’s two days he’s shown how much he loves his sister and his mom and Dad..Thank you for all the prayers..I will always see more than clouds and a blue sky when I look up

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On top of my daughter’s death..we find her memories are being sold

. Getting to Know Sydney, Grief its Real . , , , , , , , , , ,

A year ago today Sydney was so excited to give this very expensive pair of polarized sunglasses to Blake. They meant so much to him that on 2/26/14 at 9:12am only 7 months after she was killed he placed them and sold them on craigslist for 45 dollars..How heartbreaking to know her memories could be sold..I contacted the buyer to verify and try to recover them but he lost them in the lake just a week before..God leaves us an entire bible with lots of scripture..he says to forgive and offer grace..we did..he says to always speak truth..and we have..he says you will be persecuted for following me..Sydney and my family have been..but he also says Matthew 7:6 NIV “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces” God my prayer is that truth be revealed. I pray that you will please protect my daughters memory and her family and friends from the pigs you speak of who have turned around and attacked not only us but Sydney’s memory..God please let your Holy Spirit work good out of the evil that has been done and I ask others to continue to pray for our family as we walk through this raging storm that continues
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Colossians 3:2

. Getting to Know Sydney, Grief its Real . , , , , , , , , ,

Colossians 3:2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth!! Life isn’t about what you accumulate this side of heaven..Its about what you accumulate FOR ETERNITY! Luke 1:45 Blessed is she who believed that The Lord would fulfill his promises to her. Miss you always and forever Sydney!
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God’s not Dead…Love and miss you Sydney Lisa Jeter

. Getting to Know Sydney, Grief its Real . , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m just a little different when it comes to sharing messages..I don’t just want to speak something to someone I want them to understand..get it..feel it..God’s not Dead was a very good movie but very emotional for me..I already had an extremely hard time at church crying the whole way through worship..because not only do I miss Sydney more than anything..I know she’s happy and experiencing for real every word we sing..then emotionally heart broken we head to the movie..I had never even seen a preview..So many little messages through out that movie for us..first off..sometimes the answer is NO..boy this one hurts..we didn’t want our answer to be no..We knew something was wrong that night..she was never late and always stayed in communication with me so when I left to go look for her..Stacy was on his knees in the front yard praying to God “please let her be ok”..I was praying the same prayer as I was driving out to go look for her..our answer was No..I do not believe that God took her that night..But I do believe he allowed free will..and the decisions made..did take her that night..her work was not finished..but God worked through Sydney’s life and will work through her death..the messages he had her leave for us to find..the post she shared on Instagram and Facebook..are there for others to see..to see how her heart changed that last year..I believe I also saw this message through the movie..God knows our life..our story has been written..he knows we have free will but never gives up..every time you are tempted by selfish desires..God has also provided a way out..the teacher had his mom speaking truth..when he rejected God didnt give up..he sent someone else a student/girlfriend to love and plant seeds..he still rejected..but God still loved so he sent the student who would end up debating w/him who also planted seeds..but still rejecting..God didn’t give up..he continued sending people into his life..God never gives up on us knowing we may never accept..THANK YOU GOD..you see he didn’t give up on my baby either..as she was struggling he continued to send ppl into her life to speak truth..she grabbed on several times but would get sucked back into the world a few times but the last time..The Holy Spirit was so strong..she understood..she grabbed on..changing everything about herself..she deleted her twitter, changed the music she listened to..she was pulling away from people that were bad influences, reaching out an offering forgiveness, she used her social media to share Gods message to try and save people from the lies Satan tells them..it was beautiful and I was blessed to have been able to witness such a powerful change..all this because God never gave up on her..he continued to send OBEDIENT ppl into her life..she always had a choice to walk away..Thank God her last choice was to whole heartedly give every bit of her life to such an amazing God..So I will end by asking you..which person are you going to be in this life..the one that speaks against God..the one that lives for the world and just signs a piece of paper to make their life easy or the one who will chose to be obedient, and live so that God can use you..you might just be the last truth someone hears..Thank you to every obedient Christian who walked through my daughters life..You allowed God to use your life because you lived for him and not yourself and Thank you to my beautiful girl Sydney Lisa Jeter God is still working good through your obedience what a beautiful legacy you left..I miss you!10245524_781787401833829_5035193812345732533_n

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Nine months..I can’t believe it

. Grief its Real . , , , , , , , ,

Nine months today..I can’t believe it..9 months ago I got the worst news of my life..months keep passing whether I want them to or not..Each day is another day further away from the last time I hugged her or heard her voice..I knew I wasn’t going to be okay so in the last 9 months I’ve went to two different grief groups and a retreat for moms who have lost a child..I’ve had ppl tell me(with good intentions) that maybe some medicine would help me..I’m looking for the answer..the fix..the cure..so I can love my life again..Reality is I’m not..and that is OK..I’m not suppose to love this world..I’m suppose to feel like I don’t belong here..God has me exactly where Im suppose to be..living and longing for something better than what this world has to offer..I hate it..I didn’t want to learn this lesson like this..I WANT MY BABY BACK! I don’t even know how I got where I am..I just keep waking up and time keeps passing..I keep praying and God keeps giving me strength..I know my reward will come and that gives me so much hope but it in no way takes away any of the pain I feel every second of everyday I live without her..Thank you to everyone who continues to pray, continues to carry us when we can’t seem to stand, for all the new moms I met that are walking this horrible nightmare, all the amazing soccer girls who played and continue to “PlayforJeter” words can not describe how much every little thing means to us! Always and forever Sydney Lisa Jeter
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A Mom’s first Birthday without her child

. Grief its Real . , , , , , ,

I wanted to start off by saying Thank you for all the birthday wishes and mostly for the prayers. The way Facebook is it tells me I have all these post on my wall but I can’t see them all to respond to them so if I missed you it wasn’t personal I just can’t see it😢to respond. I had the best birthday I could have missing such a huge piece of my life. Sydney was always the one to make a play or come running in knocking me down with a hug saying Happy Birthday Mommie. I don’t believe she let this birthday go by without letting me know she was gonna be with me..in fact I like to think she sent one heck of a storm to wake me up at 3:00am telling me happy birthday. For those that might have missed all the stories..the night my precious baby left us there was one cloud in the sky by our house that provided a beautiful lightening show no rain and the rest of the sky was clear. she hadn’t even been gone 24 hours. At the visitation when you walked out of the funeral home you saw a beautiful double rainbow. At the cemetery after the service all of a sudden a huge storm came in and poured down on everyone and blew the canopy off..for her birthday the wind was so strong that we could barley lift the balloons we had for her. The first soccer game of the season it rained and actually I think they had more rain during games this year then they had in a very long time..for her memorial game again..raining and this time it was also 28 degrees..so when that storm came I knew it was Gods way of letting me know my girl was with me in spirit. I had some amazing people step up and make this very hard day as happy as it could possibly be..I will say again PEOPLE make all the difference. The ones that will be next to you whether you’re happy sad hurting laughing..I have a God that won’t give up on me when I’m sad he sends me someone not only to remind me of the eternity he has promised with my beautiful girl but to remind me even though my girl is not with me as long as I continue to walk with him my blessing will be enough for me to survive..God is enough..No matter where God takes me I will follow..I have to trust that he knows best and that even though my sufferings are great in this life I will be rewarded in my eternal life..there are a few people..very few..that have chosen to walk away disrespecting her, living speaking constant lies, making decisions they can never take back or undo..but what I have come to realize is..God protected me by removing them from my life..He makes good out of the bad..he has provided so many people that know how to love the way God says to love and I am forever blessed

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A bereaved parent will never be okay living life w/o their child

. Grief its Real . , , , , ,

A bereaved parent will never be okay with living life without their child..there is nothing right about it..normal will never exist again as there is nothing normal about her being gone..tears don’t stop as a piece of me died that night with her..it is so hard to live without someone that was larger than life itself…in the midst of this horrible reality..my answer and my hope is from God alone🙏My baby girl left me that night but not to die instead to live waiting for me and everyone else she knew and loved that truly believes and is living this life focused on an eternity with an amazing God. She was living everyday not only loving God but reaching out and sharing him with others. I wanted whoever stops by to visit her to be reminded that as cute as the bunnies and eggs are the true reason for Easter is to celebrate the victory in Jesus that each one of us have…I painted and put in metal rods so that three crosses would stand to represent the Trinity (God,Jesus, and The Holy Spirit) my hope is knowing I will see her again..Love and miss you Sydney Lisa Jeter every second of everyday!
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The first never stop

. Grief its Real . , , , , , , ,

Haven’t posted since before spring break. Good news is we made it through a few more first without her, not without tears and heartache that is indescribable. But for whatever reason we continue to deal with new issues that continually add to our heartache. I was going to post in detail about it..but its not the time..lets just say its pretty unbelievable what people are capable of doing..not just to us or her memory..but to themselves..I wish I could just hate them but in the end my heart breaks because I know they will regret every bit of what they are doing. It is going to eat them up inside one day..The things they are chosing to do not only hurt us and her memory but is going to destroy them when they are older and realize they can’t undo some of the things they have done. I’m not sure when it will be enough, but we are weak, broken, and just want the pain to end. I sat on her floor yesterday and just screamed and cried most of the day..if only that would bring her back..I do have moments of happiness but so far they are short moments away from the pain that eats away at you from the inside..I’m trying to continue to live and I know she wouldn’t want me to be this broken, but no matter how hard I try it doesn’t happen..I still cry and miss her..I’ve accomplished a lot and continued with life but it seems so empty sometimes..Ive learned the only thing that takes a little sting off the pain is to remember her, keep people around that enjoyed her life and want to talk about her, people that cherish the things and memories she gave them as much as we do. I have been blessed with a few of her friends that include us in their lives…I’m not sure anyone can understand how much that means..I was so connected to Sydney and her life..I did everything with her she can never be replaced but for kids her age to take the time and spend and hangout with a Mom so that I can still feel included in the life of a teenager…It might sound stupid but it helps because a piece of her lives in them..some of them have a similar personality to Sydney and I feel her through them and smiling and laughing with them..The pain doesn’t stop but neither does God..he can’t take away our pain but he gives us enough of what we need to stay focused on him, and make it through another da, hopefully showing others nothing is impossible with God..He carries us when we are too weak to walk ourselves..I can not image this horrible journey without him…He is our only hope

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Missing her no matter where we are

. Grief its Real . , , , , , , , ,

The last several months we have learned..we miss her no matter where we are the grocery store, the house, the mall, the beach, the truth is we miss her every second..we’ve also learned that nothing takes away the pain so we can’t avoid people, places, or things..being with the people she loved, doing the things she loved, in the places she loved is some of the closet moments we have with her so we are leaving tomorrow to head to the Frio River/Garner State Park for spring break carrying our girl every second with us in our hearts because it is impossible for us to do anything without her..we can not live life without thinking about her or wanting to see and hear her enjoying this life with us..she is forever connected to our souls and she lives forever deep within us..that will never be enough for my aching heart but its impossible for me to have it any other way..because if you could die from a broken heart💔 I wouldn’t be alive and if love could have saved her..she wouldn’t have died🙏